Fierce, loving, and beautiful

I am a first time writer/poster. I am looking for some feedback on a short narrative piece I wrote.

In particular, I am planning on writing a compilation of such narratives from different point-of-views and from different points-in-time from the lives of organ donors and recipients. I would like to change the prevailing perspectives about organ donation this way.

So, I am looking for honest feedback about whether my writing style/skills will be able to change minds.