No Regret
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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Thu, Apr 2, 2015
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She said sorry too often. She apologised for apologising too much. She said sorry like it was a greeting. She apologises for everything that goes wrong, because she labelled herself as a disaster. She was sorry for not being good enough, because no one ever told her she was good enough. No one ever told her that she was something more than, the mess inside of her head and the tsunami inside her heart. So all she learned was to apologise for every single breath she took.
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The world expected her to be perfect. She was the eldest, the responsible one, the overachiever who always had the answers. But beneath the polished grades and the forced smiles was a girl who barely held herself together. A girl with too many expectations crushing her chest, with anger simmering just beneath the surface, with a loneliness that no one ever noticed. Her mother barely acknowledged her existence. Her father, from miles away, drowned her in concern she didn't know how to handle. And in between, she was left to figure everything out on her own. At school, she was untouchable-the top student, the girl who never failed, the one who always had her hand raised first. People admired her, envied her, but none of them really knew her. Not the way she knew them. She had a habit of reading people, of dissecting their words, their actions, their lies. It was easier that way-keeping them at arm's length, never letting anyone too close. And then there was him. The boy who was just as smart, just as untouchable. The one who walked the halls like he owned them, like the world bent to his control. Cold, calculating, always five steps ahead. The boy who hated losing. And so did she. That was the problem. Because when you put fire and ice together, someone was bound to get burned. And she refused to be the one left in ashes.

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