I'm a Loser
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Ongoing, First published Jan 25
When I was a 10, I dreamt of being a successful career woman at 25. I pictured myself in a corporate attire getting inside a huge building with hundreds of employees flocking early in the morning to go to work. 

When I was 15, I was obsessed of becoming a chef. I loved to experiment with food, inventing new recipes that brought delight to the tongues of my friends. I badly wanted to wear that apron that hugged the chefs' body. It was my goal then to establish my own restaurant.

When I was 20, I just graduated from college. The path I took was different from the ones I had dreamt of. 

And now at 26, none of the things I had once set my mind is coming into view. At 26, I find myself looking at the vast horizon while the sun is hiding behind the clouds, wondering what happened to my life; why I become a loser like this.
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Elliot's partner was his whole world, but after Allan's death, his ghost haunts Elliot's dreams. Everyone tells Elliot to move on, but he isn't sure he can. ***** It's been a year since the love of Elliot's life, Allan, passed away. Everyone thinks he should have recovered after that much time, but Allan still haunts Elliot every night. He struggles to maintain relationships with his family, and despite a coworkers interest he can't summon up the courage to date. Elliot is living for the past, because to live for the present means he'll have to live with a hole in his heart. But the question Elliot has to face chases him through his monotonous days: is mourning Allan with everything he has truly living? [[word count: 40,000-50,000 words]]