Odd Jobs for the Undead - A Zombie For Hire Story
  • Reads 783
  • Votes 98
  • Parts 26
  • Time 5h 28m
  • Reads 783
  • Votes 98
  • Parts 26
  • Time 5h 28m
Complete, First published Mar 30, 2015
Gordon longs for the simple things in life. A job. A place to rest his head. Someone to love. The same things everybody wants. But being a zombie makes achieving any of these basics a challenge, even for a special “high functioning” zombie that hasn’t lost the capacity to think and feel. 

So what if he shambles a bit when he walks? Sure he's a little gassier than the average guy, but who hasn't let one go in the elevator? And yes, pieces of his body do occasionally fall off, but he can put them back on. It's not like he's one of the "groaner" zombies that shuffle about looking for brains to chomp on.

But things could be worse. Gordon has a decent business going as a Zombie for Hire. Got a job too dangerous for an air breather? Clifford is your man. Toxic waste clean up? Done. Living crash test dummy? On it. Really nasty crime scene clean up? He’s your undead man. He’s even has a blind date coming up.

It’s too bad good things rarely happen to good zombies…His new boss may have a secret agenda and the girl of his dreams has, well, character issues. But with the help of Penny, his funerary cosmetician gal pal, and Merl, his agent, he might just make it through to sunrise without someone planting a truncheon in his skull.
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Condition by gonzalez107
3 parts Complete Mature
As you begin to read this, you start to remember. That fateful day, you may have been eating dinner, on your phone, coming home from work or school, or watching TV, when the Emergency Broadcast System emerged on every media outlet available. "THIS IS NOT A TEST," the screen read. "Lock every entrance, gather necessities, DO NOT go outside, and remain calm. Further instructions will soon follow." Zombies are a fickle creature; they're always changing. These zombies... They're unlike anything you've ever seen. The reality of having seen something that gruesome makes your heart race again. You remember the way they looked at first and having to study them to keep your spot at the top of the chain. You look around. You've established yourself again, reading a book you found to kill some time. Making the zombie apocalypse, simply something that you've experienced, among many other things. Now, let's get to that book! October 30, 2015, 7:58 p.m. That's when it all began for everyone, the awful sounds of the emergency alarms filling the air with panic. No one had a certain plan, just hopes for the best and quick wits. Robert Duncan was on a farm where he worked, fixing machines. His regular life would instantly change, and the world would flip on itself. The things he would do, the people he would meet, and the items he would obtain were not in his imagination. This is his story, just as you would have one, and what became of him...
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Condition

3 parts Complete Mature

As you begin to read this, you start to remember. That fateful day, you may have been eating dinner, on your phone, coming home from work or school, or watching TV, when the Emergency Broadcast System emerged on every media outlet available. "THIS IS NOT A TEST," the screen read. "Lock every entrance, gather necessities, DO NOT go outside, and remain calm. Further instructions will soon follow." Zombies are a fickle creature; they're always changing. These zombies... They're unlike anything you've ever seen. The reality of having seen something that gruesome makes your heart race again. You remember the way they looked at first and having to study them to keep your spot at the top of the chain. You look around. You've established yourself again, reading a book you found to kill some time. Making the zombie apocalypse, simply something that you've experienced, among many other things. Now, let's get to that book! October 30, 2015, 7:58 p.m. That's when it all began for everyone, the awful sounds of the emergency alarms filling the air with panic. No one had a certain plan, just hopes for the best and quick wits. Robert Duncan was on a farm where he worked, fixing machines. His regular life would instantly change, and the world would flip on itself. The things he would do, the people he would meet, and the items he would obtain were not in his imagination. This is his story, just as you would have one, and what became of him...