Endless Echos

As I grew up through my childhood, I suffered from numerous different mental health disorders like OCD, depression, anxiety, you name it. In elementary school, I would consistently have panic attacks from my school work because I held this specific idea that everything had to be perfect and my work to reflect my ideal vision in mind perfectly. If I didn't complete my work to fit my expectations of what I wanted, I would beat myself down over it. I would tear myself down if I didn't achieve the unrealistic expectations I had set for myself. I grew up with low self-esteem, constantly feeling like I was worthless and like I was ugly, the common feeling a large number of teenagers experience today as they try to meet the expectations others have of them. I was incredibly insecure about everything I say and do, constantly worrying about what others think of me. If I'm too skinny or if I'm fat. Ugly or pretty. Whether people hate me. If I were a bitch or a wore. These repetitive intrusive thoughts would slowly cause me to hate myself, and would cause me to have thoughts of suicide. I never have consisted even letting these terrible feeling get to me. This poem I wrote was a poem described my experiences with my mental health and overcoming my issues in my own life.