Killing Edward Cullen

Twilight documented the beautiful love story that changed so many young people's lives. Little did they know, however, that every page the young readers ravenously consumed, there hid the Badass, fantastic vampire hunter, Buff. Yes, he was there when they first met, hidden in the fridge where they keep the preserved frogs. He was there when they shared their first kiss, observing them from Bella's closet. He was there at prom floating about between the bits of pineapple in the punch bowl. Hormones spill off the very pages and tears of fangirls short out keyboards everywhere as we butcher this beloved romance novel.