Saudade

Saudade, a beautiful word until you know the meaning behind it. The words means "a deep emotional state of melancholic longing for a person or thing that is absent."
In the past I scoffed at this word, seeing how pathetic that is... Until I faced the scene where you betrayed, leaved and never look back.
I beg all the deity for oblivion, just to toned down the pain. But not even the hardest liquor could tamed down the agony scream that starting to crawl upward.
The only emotion and thought that left since that day are,
Disappointment
And
What if....

I played that faithful night, again -again... searching the points that I missed interprets your emotion, your words, your action.
But every night, the only thing that left from me are emptied rock glass and dry streak of tears.