Story cover for ... And A Shiny New Sword - The Tale of Garbus the Malcontent by MikeMacColin
... And A Shiny New Sword - The Tale of Garbus the Malcontent
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    Parts 9
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    Time 1h 1m
  • WpView
    Reads 90
  • WpVote
    Votes 7
  • WpPart
    Parts 9
  • WpHistory
    Time 1h 1m
Ongoing, First published Mar 01, 2024
Mature
He saved the princess from a fire-breathing dragon. He slew demons with his sword. He single-handedly drove the armies of eternal darkness from the doorstep of his king. But when Garbus, the warrior, returns to the king for his reward, all he gets from the nitwit is a worthless sword and a bag with a hundred gold pieces. "Enough is enough," Garbus tells himself - and sets out to take over the kingdom for himself. A witty bard, a professional "damsel in distress" and several other colorful individuals accompany him on his quest which will turn out to be less heroic and more absurd.

"Conan The Barbarian" meets "Tropic Thunder" in this humorous take on epic fantasy tales and tropes.

WARNING: Rated mature for strong language, gratuitous violence, sexual innuendos, alcohol abuse and overall questionable behavior.

Rated immature for humor and stupidity.
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