when my bully become my lover

I'm just a kid I'm not good enough for this world... I know life is a battle field and a long journey I have to grow up to walk in the right path ......I'm just like other kid who wanted to live life and enjoy it but a lot of things always stopping me to live the life I want people says things to help me,keep me strong ,or to help me to my journey well to me those are things that keeps me to gave up or pulling me down
I want a life to live on my own not by people telling me what to do ....