look mom, i can fly high too.
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  • Parts 1
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Complete, First published Mar 13, 2024
Will you believe if I told you this? Just a couple of days ago, I participated in a competition where the results shocked me more than anything else. It felt so surreal and to be honest it felt like a movie scene that played way too fast for me to even grasp the meaning behind of it.

But there was this one moment, just a day before the competition, I felt I couldn't do it. I know I was being a coward at that very moment because part of me felt like pulling out of a battle that haven't even begin yet. You wouldn't believe what kept me going. It was a book that I read a couple of days ago, Shoe Dog by Phil Knight, where there's one specific line I believe would trigger many of us. It goes like this:

"The cowards never started and the weak died along the way - that leaves us."
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The average human being spends every second of his day fighting against the force of nature to see another day. But I'm different. I'm not afraid of outside forces to take my life away - only myself. Approximately 10 years ago, something happened to me. Something really bad. But I'm not allowed to talk about it. As a way to release my frustration, I give hell to my body and everyone I come in contact with - especially my parents. No one knows about what happened except the ones who did it...and Him. But he didn't stay. Now, he's back and he's not talking either. I want to stop hurting, I need to stop. Make me stop.