My journal - _mindatrandom_ - Wattpad

My journal

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Parts 2
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Reads 4
Votes 0
Parts 2
Time 6m

bingeeating eatingdisorder journal journey mentaldisorder mentalhealth purging

I want to have a journal. I want people to read, I want people to share similar stories and sometimes I need help. 

I don't share a lot with friends because I'm a private person that way but since you all do would never know me, here I go.

It's about my life, mostly my struggles. I'm suffering from eating disorder and for the longest time I was determind to heal by myself but now I'm tired of fighting it alone.All Rights Reserved

bingeeating eatingdisorder journal journey mentaldisorder mentalhealth purging

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It was under control by myrealnameisasecret

Jules Hart returns to the psychiatric ward, her life has fallen apart once again. She had it under control. Or was it all just her imagination? She encounters trials and tribulations with her eating disorder recovery, being forced into situations like no other; ending in painful repercussions and unhealthy coping mechanisms. After deciding she no longer wants help, Jules escapes the psychiatric ward; resulting in her attempting to take her own life. The consequence of her actions, broke Tom's heart in the process, all the while he held her sick body. Her life has led her down the path of having to recover from not only the torturous eating disorder, but the addictive self harm and torment of the suicidal ideation. Let's just hope Jules gets her happy ending... ~ "GET OFF ME! GET THE HELL OFF ME! I DON'T LIKE BEING TOUCHED! GET THE FUCK OFF ME. TOM PLEASE HELP ME. TOM! PLEASE GET THEM OFF ME. I'M SO SCARED!" Jules's fragile body was making a forceful connection with the cold and unsympathetic ground. Her bloodline exiting and tainting her body and all of the surroundings. Her painful and emotional screams echoed the white corridor, while Jules's body shook and shivered, and dizzy spells with blurry covered eyes; forced her body and mind to experience a feeling of disconnection. The fit of fear that swirled in the pit of Jules's stomach made her head jolt violently side to side, along with front and back; causing her forehead to strike the floor. ~TW: Eating disorder, suicide and self harm mentioned throughout~

Abigail by hmarieh1218

(In editing) She's depressed. She's anorexic. She's suicidal. She's insecure. Abigail has grown up with her three brothers and James, never meeting her parents, who abandoned her at birth. Her brothers were left to take care of her and keep a roof over their heads. Everyday they struggle to take care of Abigail, while working to keep them in their home. Life for them is hard. Life for Abigail is even harder. She has a dark mind and not by choice. Somewhere along the way she's developed these feelings of loneliness and hopelessness. Everyday is a struggle for her and just getting out of bed is a success. She meets Zach, a bad boy with a bad reputation. He starts off as a tutor, just to help her out, out of pity. But eventually feelings get involved and Abigail finds herself liking a boy for the first time in her life. Things get serious and she somehow learns about his drug dealing business. Everything gets hectic and Abigail doesn't know what to do with her life anymore. Or if she even wants to live.

Falling Apart by 1_Will_3

*TRIGGER WARNING: DEALS WITH DEPRESSION, SELF HARM AND SUICIDE* Amber is sixteen years old and to sugarcoat it... She hasn't had the best upbringing. She would love a different life, one where she can see her mother again and not be stuck with her abusive father. A life where she doesn't get taunted and hit and torn apart by everyone who she has ever seen. But she would never swap, she doesn't want anyone to endure the pain she's gone through. So instead, she tries to get rid of it... Again. But much to her disbelief, she is saved by the people she would least expect. She learns secrets about them that no one else knows. She feels included. Cared for. And dare I say it... She felt loved. For once in her life, she felt truly happy to be alive. But just when Amber felt safe, her life was flipped upside down and her past came back to haunt her just when she least expected it... (Sorry, I suck at descriptions, don't let it put you off) Ranking: #64 in Awareness #15 in Mental Health Awareness #73 in saddness

𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓵𝓸𝔀 by beanzgetti4

Rita becomes strict with her eating, everyday the number of calories she eats gets lower and the amount of time she does cardio gets higher. She practices of managing her starvation by distracting it and never catches a break on the scale. Nobody is aware of it, it was something Rita doesn't want her friends or family to know, hiding her body from them didn't last long. Her mother noticed the dramatic weight change on her body. She tries to help her get back to her eating and tells her many times that she's "perfectly skinny" but nothing works. Her mother puts her foot down as Rita started to get ill, her mom takes her to a mental health hospital. She deals with consequences from her nurses and other patients.

healing is not linear - A Memoir by Frances Edelstein by FrancesShana

FINAL VERSION NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0846QJQ86?ref=knfdg_R_twm_yes No one's life is perfect--and mine is no different. On the outside, you might see me as a young woman that was raised in the most perfect life; both parents, an upper-middle-class home, a safe neighborhood. This is all true, yes, but the worst of my struggles were things that many people didn't see: my mental health. In this book, I share all my struggles with my eating disorder, anxiety, depression, and the things that go along with it. My goal in writing this is letting you know that you, the reader, are never alone. There are people like me that care about you, that understand how hard it can be. Hopefully this book with give you clarity about some things you've been dealing with, and maybe give you some peace of mind and directions on how to navigate through these hard times. Please, keep fighting. We need you. Much love!

annihilated. /mcr fanfic (pt. 2 of resurrected, completed) by spiritxdesire

i didnt think i would finish a whole story, let alone begin a second half! lets see if i can make it. the first half only took a year to write. you know the drill, this story has and will contain very explicit and triggering material, including ED, S/H, drug abuse, s/a, suicidal ideation, and violence. writing is a coping mechanism of mine, but i know that reading these stories while experiencing these issues can be harmful to ones self. please avoid reading this at all costs if that is the case. you can reach out to me if you need someone to talk to. thanks

Starving For Help by Lauryn_Love

"I smile everyday. I live my life like nothing is wrong with me. No one would ever guess that I'm screaming inside or that I've secretly been hiding this huge part of my life. No one would ever know that I cry myself to sleep at night or that deep down I'm starving for help." Welcome to Anorexia. Your hostess is Ana. She'll take over from here. Suffering alone inside of your mind from a terrifying mental disorder, is something that even those who battle such a thing every day, cannot fully understand. It's like being alone 24/7 yet it's never quiet inside of your head. You can't stop the voices. You can't control your emotions. As it gets worse, you lose control of your body all together. You become prey to your disease and You can't fight back. That is what it's like for someone who has spent years of their life suffering in silence from an eating disorder. Fighting a monster that you have no chance of beating. It's almost impossible to describe the type of torture that consumes your mind. Hell. It's equivalent to pure hell.

I've Got It Under Control by myrealnameisasecret

Jules is forced to live a life in the psychiatric ward after her eating disorder nearly ends up taking her life. Stuck in a life that is contained within four walls, while she fights her battle with an eating disorder and depression, trying to gain control of the demanding voice in her head. Finally having to admit that she can't do it herself and faces vulnerability by doing so. She endures love and heartbreak but only she can save herself. Will Jules recover and finally be free of the voice that has become the burden of her life? ~ I've Got It Under Control That's what she thought. That's what they all think when it first starts. They had control, had, past tense. Now they wish they did. Their bodies are screaming for help but their head is saying otherwise. Hunger coursed through Jules's body, the rumble of her stomach was like a thunderstorm, violent and painful. It scared her, yet it also satisfied her. She started to skip breakfast, and once she realised she didn't need breakfast, she knew she wouldn't need lunch nor dinner. ~TW: Goes into depth about eating disorders, mentions about suicide and self harm. View at your own risk~

The Day I Met Ana by kataroo22

Hi, my name is Anorexia. Ana for short. I'm here to tell a story. A story of struggle, family issues, and most of all, losing. At the moment I'm quite friendless and time will unfold that story but for now I have a question. Would you like to be my friend? I promise I'm nothing like they say. But I have to warn you, you must do everything I say.

Diary of an anorexic by iChaeryun

I use this as my diary. I write down all my thoughts and I hope it'll help me.

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Slide 1 of 10

It was under control cover

Falling Apart cover

healing is not linear - A Memoir by Frances Edelstein cover

annihilated. /mcr fanfic (pt. 2 of resurrected, completed) cover

Starving For Help cover

I've Got It Under Control cover

The Day I Met Ana cover

Diary of an anorexic cover

It was under control

Jules Hart returns to the psychiatric ward, her life has fallen apart once again. She had it under control. Or was it all just her imagination? She encounters trials and tribulations with her eating disorder recovery, being forced into situations like no other; ending in painful repercussions and unhealthy coping mechanisms. After deciding she no longer wants help, Jules escapes the psychiatric ward; resulting in her attempting to take her own life. The consequence of her actions, broke Tom's heart in the process, all the while he held her sick body. Her life has led her down the path of having to recover from not only the torturous eating disorder, but the addictive self harm and torment of the suicidal ideation. Let's just hope Jules gets her happy ending... ~ "GET OFF ME! GET THE HELL OFF ME! I DON'T LIKE BEING TOUCHED! GET THE FUCK OFF ME. TOM PLEASE HELP ME. TOM! PLEASE GET THEM OFF ME. I'M SO SCARED!" Jules's fragile body was making a forceful connection with the cold and unsympathetic ground. Her bloodline exiting and tainting her body and all of the surroundings. Her painful and emotional screams echoed the white corridor, while Jules's body shook and shivered, and dizzy spells with blurry covered eyes; forced her body and mind to experience a feeling of disconnection. The fit of fear that swirled in the pit of Jules's stomach made her head jolt violently side to side, along with front and back; causing her forehead to strike the floor. ~TW: Eating disorder, suicide and self harm mentioned throughout~