everything after

Do you know the feeling "how it was before"?

I have not spoken much recently with the Camerons. They are my family friends from when I was younger. We still are though. I used play with Sarah all the time.
But now everything is so different. But then I mean reaaalll different.

First, her dad died. Yes Ward died. He was nice to me, but not to his own family. He was a cruel guy, but he loved his family in a special way.

Second, Sarah is a pouge now. Since she has John B and the other pouges, she turned her back to me. I didn't do shit by the way. I know that Sarah has been through much, but still. We are still friends, but now I feel like I don't know her like I used to know her.

And last, my mom is sick. Like reallll sick. She can't take care of me anymore and I can't take care of her alone. That's why she stays at a special hospital for people with cancer or something like that. My mother and I aren't that close, but still it is my mother though. Everything feels different.

And then you think "What the hell does she try to say with how it was before?" Yes, here it comes. I am going to live with Sarah and the other Camerons. That's going to be weird. Being around them (except Ward ahahah) again. Do you get it now? How is it going to be after all the this that happened? Will it feel like before?