Her doubts

𝙊𝙣 𝘽𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠.
𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 ;)

Book 1 of 'Healing Her'
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"Hope and love are the two fundaments life works on"

I grew up hearing this. My aunt strongly believed that everything happened because of a purpose and good things would happen.
And that we all will get a fairy tale ending.

Only that she didn't. She was brutally raped and then killed. And it happened while I was under the same roof; yet I couldn't do anything.

That was the biggest mistake of my life. Because after finding me, my parents didn't comfort me or thank The Lord for saving their child.

No. Instead my father slapped me for not saving my aunt. For not doing anything. He even went on to say
"For not offering myself."

That's how my miserable life started. My parents stated hating me. They always made sure I never forgot that night. They always made sure I didn't feel an ounce of happiness.

Still I kept hope. I thought that I might be able to find love, or at least peace in this life. But I guess that was not what God had planned for me.

I must committed some horrendous sin in my past life. Because if years of abuse, neglect and harrasment wasn't enough. My parents decided to "sell" me.

I don't know the details. I don't know if I am actually sold. I don't know if this person standing with me in this holy place, swearing to love and protect me actually bought me.
I don't know.
And honestly,
I don't want to.

You were wrong aunt. You were wrong. Not everyone gets a happily ever after.

Life isn't love and hope.
At least mine isn't.
My life is fear, insecurity, hopelessness and
doubts.
My Doubts.