Redemption

It was hard to explain. I was so afraid I'd end up like my Dad. Going too far, unable to control emotions, lashing out for personal failures or the child that never had the opportunity to just be a kid. I chose silence because I knew what blowing up looked like. I saw what I didn't want to be. I felt that hatred, resentment, anger and sadness. It turned me into a bitter, self hated human being. Choosing silence didn't mean laying down but rather knowing what I was capable of and never touching that spot again. I used it against myself all the time after all those years. Of course it hurt to have horrible things said about you, but those demons always threatened to resurface.

I chose instead to pray. Pray for the softness to find their heart. Pray for them to find solace in Jesus. All it took was a mustard seed, right?