The Darker Materials

Quotes. Short stories. Things that make you think.

every day I'm left at a loss for words. ✘CW: mentions of suicide and self-harm © 2017-2023 alexxiajay, all rights reserved *i wrote this collection in 2017, i have only updated it recently. (fixed some grammatical errors, and changed a few things, but otherwise, i've tried to leave it true to form) *all images are from google, i do not own any of them

What will you do when all of your dreams gets trampled and your freedom get snatched away from you by the only person who claims to love you ? Let's find out.

- Not completed-Do you ever just sit in your room at night and think about everything? Why you were born, what’s the point of living? Are you even needed in this cruel world? Do you ever just think, would anyone even miss me if I’m gone? These thoughts run through my mind pretty much every night. I lie in bed, staring at my ceiling with tears rolling down my cheeks. Normally along with several fresh marks embedded into my stomach and skin. Nobody would ever know though, why would they? It’s not like my family are remotely interested in me or anybody for that manner. Well, I use the term ‘family’ extremely loosely. My ‘family’ basically consists of me living with my uncle who doesn’t even register that I’m living in the same house as him. He basically uses me for the benefits so he can buy more cigarettes and spent more money on prostitutes. I use the term ‘house’ loosely also, I wouldn’t call it a house. I would call it a two bedroomed shack on the rough side of town

Loneliness It's unusual to see and hear the lonliness in a house that was usually loud and busy Not much to say but everything was off after that one day That one specific day Warning : This story contains : Self harm/cuts Blood Razor/blade/cutter Rape Suicidal Mention of abuse in the past This story may contain some vulgar writings and other stuff so don't read if you're not comfortable -Slowburn

Macau :please do-don't do this it's hu-hurt Kinn : do you think I f**king care

Here lie my thoughts in this book, why don't you stop and take a look. While you read the secrets written there, try to ignore the silent screams no one ever seems to hear. Reading this will take some time, but you might recover my heart, lost long ago, that was once mine.

Note: I wrote this without proof-reading it, and I was twelve. Please bear that in mind. Talking to you was surprisingly easy. Even though you won't reply to anything I say, I know you hear me. It's quite comforting actually. I had always loved talking to you, pouring out my thoughts, opinions, everything. Now that you’re gone, I have no idea what to do with myself anymore. It's just that I wish you didn't left me alone, Bailey. I blame myself for every single thing that you went through, if it wasn't for me, you would still be here. But no, I chose to be ignorant. I'm so sorry for that.

Kiara Athena Carpenter, 16, mentally ill and quite traumatized. The youngest of the Carpenter siblings and also the only girl which makes her the mafia princess. How can somebody be sad with all that money? Well... How is it to live with 5 brothers? Well... ------------ "Kie, please let me help you" he begged me again. "No I'm okay" I said glaring at him. "You're bleeding and you can barely breathe, just please let me help you" he begged. "There's two of you" I laughed. "Shit" I heard him mumble before everything went dark. ------------ TW: contains mature themes which will be mentioned before each chapter. !!ED, SH, SA and abuse mentioned!! Don't copy my book 😡 ENGLISH ISN'T MY FIRST LANGUAGE 🏆#1 in triggerwarning (May 6th 2023) 🏆#1 in 5brothers (May 27th 2023) 🏆#1 in deadparents (June 1st 2023) 🏆#1 in multilingual (November 28th 2023)

Dazai angst I felt like writing ACTUAL WRITING WILL BE POSTED BY APRIL 30TH !PLEASE MIND THE TW'S THIS IS INCREDIBLY HEAVY! Child endangerment Child abuse Hypothermia Starvation/Descriptions of intense hunger Suicidal thoughts/Ideation Implications of non consensual medical drug usage Self harm Blood Gun/Blades Thoughts/Urges to hurt others (?) Dehumanization Depression Self neglect Suicide/Attempt (VERY descriptive) Panic attack descriptions Slight religious imagery (?) Descriptions of gore/injury Brief mention of torture Law breaking/reckless driving (?) Emotional suppression (?) Drastic mood swings/changes Mentioned character death Playlist on first part and taking suggestions