Shattered Mirrors
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- Parts 2
Ongoing8m
Last published Sun, Jul 27, 2025
Introduction
This is not a light read.
What you're about to step into is a collection of truths-unfiltered, unedited, and sometimes hard to swallow. It's a story of trauma, survival, and the many versions of myself I've become just to stay alive. Some chapters will take you into the heart of my trauma therapy sessions-sessions where I've had to relive the darkest moments of my life. Others will walk you through the damage left by broken relationships, absent or harmful parents, and the loneliness that shaped me more than love ever did.
I won't soften the edges of my experiences to make them easier for you to digest. I've done that for too long-to protect others while breaking myself. So this time, I'm telling it all, exactly as I lived it.
This book may disturb you. Some parts might feel too heavy, too raw, too real. If at any point it becomes too much, I understand if you need to put it down. Truly-I mean that. Because what's inside these pages gets worse before it gets better.
But I didn't write this for pity. I wrote it to spread awareness-to show what PTSD really looks like from the inside. Not the clinical textbook version, but the sleepless nights, the identity shifts, the emotional flashbacks, and the numbness that never fully goes away. This is what trauma can do to a person. This is what it did to me.
And yet, I'm still here.
This book is also about that-the staying. The not giving up. The slow, brutal, beautiful process of learning how to live with what haunts you and still choosing to keep going.
If you've been through something, anything, that left a scar on your soul, I hope my words make you feel seen. And if you haven't, I hope they make you more aware-more human-more compassionate.
Welcome to my story.
All Rights Reserved
#968
ptsd
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The leaving. It was hard, tragic , painful, yet it had to be done, I needed to save my life. I didn't want to start again, this would be the story of finding myself, pulling myself back together, reuniting the happy go lucky youngster I had once been. The shock of leaving took more of a toll on me than I thought it would. I had asked two people to help me move out of the house I had shared with my partner for 8 years, we had been together 23 years in total. The move was done in total secrecy, my partner could never know in advance, it was a very scary time. I had moved various things out of the house and secured a rent on a property nearby. The house I picked was near the School the children went to, and my oldest lad was going to be near his best friend. My Mother told me of the property it was advertised on the web, we both went and had a look, even that was scary, I didn't want to be seen by anyone and became paranoid that I would be caught out. For many months I lived on a new kind of fear, the fear of someone finding out that I planned to leave my abusive partner, though of course no one knew my seemingly happy, funny, generous partner was abusive. Finding the house was one thing, getting the various companies to connect the house and exchanging the information of my current address so they could varify that I was, who I said I was almost drove me mad. The day came to leave, My Mother and a very dear Friend came round as early as possible, we packed as much as we could. This included taking the boys clothes, bedding, toys, stuff from the garden, my stuff. We had 3 cars the packing seem to take all day. By the end we had to get going to be able to unpack, leaving me time to pick up the boys from School and settle them in their new home. I couldn't do it at first,I started to cry then scream, to leave the world I had put so much of my life into, and now in a split second would be leaving was breaking my heart.
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