31 parts Complete 2020/05/29
#105 Sorrows
#394 spiritual
First I thought to tell you everything,
What Iam hiding and why?
But then I realized, Do you care about it?
I love hard.
Embarrassingly hard. All in type of hard.
But I do silently.
I drown the feelings in my gut until I'm heavy with 'I want you' and 'I love you' and 'I miss you'.
I hold my hope in my throat.
I clutch my wishes in my hands.
They become moist with sweat until I no longer want them.
If you could read me you would have known, I never wanted you to leave until now.
It was just the situation where holding on to you was more difficult than letting you go.
I loved you,
I cried,
I apologised,
I made efforts,
And Finally I lost myself.