My thoughts and emotions
- Leituras 76
- Votos 7
- Capítulos 3
Em andamento<5 mins
Última atualização sex, mai 8, 2015
I accidentally deleted this. So I cut myself I have been 3 hours clean. I've attempted suicide so many times. Um I am really struggling right now I've been crying non stop ever since Friday and I just wanna die. I'm going to let out my ish before I die. Yup I wanna die. That's it I guess...
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The Twisted Mind
"I felt as if I didn't belong, And I felt as if i'm not sick enough" Alfie struggles with the concept of food. He loves it, he hates it and just wants to find peace with it and within himself. He wants to make up with his body, his mind but he's lost all control so he's finding it hard to live. Alfie Hailo, a 16 year old swimmer, has been struggling with food since the age of 13. His parents put him in dance class when he was 6 but he was getting bullied as he got older, so decided to quit and choose a more 'masculine' sport.His father also left the family home 2 years prior and has been struggling to understand why. He has amazing friends, and an amazing family who love and care for him dearly but, he doesn't feel this. He feels like he has to be perfect. With the pressure of school, and having to keep up to the social norms of a professional swimmer, it's hard for Alfie to concentrate. He needs the help. And to do this, Alvin helps. Alvin helps him find his worth, take control, and makes his life easier, or so he seems. His best friends, Killian and Ruby, know Alfie inside and out. They know his family life, school life. And this is because Alfie is a simple person. He has never had a detention, nor has he been expelled. He's a straight A student with no history of alcohol or drug abuse. Will they suspect anything? How will Alfie proceed with his excruciating pain. Will he cover it up or will he find the courage to speak up and seek help?Concluída
The Day I Met Ana
Hi, my name is Anorexia. Ana for short. I'm here to tell a story. A story of struggle, family issues, and most of all, losing. At the moment I'm quite friendless and time will unfold that story but for now I have a question. Would you like to be my friend? I promise I'm nothing like they say. But I have to warn you, you must do everything I say.Concluída
Toxicity ¥Restore and Create¥
My soul Is breaking everything I do I get a step further from my destination I don't know what to do anymore but create my own path and Restore my reality. I finally have a goal but I doubt I'll be able to reach it at the pace I'm going. I can't continue on alone but unfortunately, I might have to.Concluída
Starving For Help
"I smile everyday. I live my life like nothing is wrong with me. No one would ever guess that I'm screaming inside or that I've secretly been hiding this huge part of my life. No one would ever know that I cry myself to sleep at night or that deep down I'm starving for help." Welcome to Anorexia. Your hostess is Ana. She'll take over from here. Suffering alone inside of your mind from a terrifying mental disorder, is something that even those who battle such a thing every day, cannot fully understand. It's like being alone 24/7 yet it's never quiet inside of your head. You can't stop the voices. You can't control your emotions. As it gets worse, you lose control of your body all together. You become prey to your disease and You can't fight back. That is what it's like for someone who has spent years of their life suffering in silence from an eating disorder. Fighting a monster that you have no chance of beating. It's almost impossible to describe the type of torture that consumes your mind. Hell. It's equivalent to pure hell.Concluída
Prisoners of the Facilities
Must break free.. can't do this anymore.. this torture must stop.. help me.. please.. But no one came.. no ever came to help me.. It's time I learn to help myself..Concluída
Not me. (2023)
so, I've been struggling for a long time now, and I never told anyone about it. I've never opened up. but I met someone who understands how I feel, and I'm beginning to feel again. I don't know how to do it, but I finally feel I can fight. I've been so exhausted. I'm not better, I'm not sure if i ever will be, but I'm not numb, not entirely. I can't say how I'm feeling, or what i am going to write, but if you want it, it's here. This is for you. For everyone who was made to be the villain by those meant to be by their sides. For everyone with a sensitive heart made to grow strong much too quickly. For everyone who struggles to get out of bed in the morning. For everyone who never could find the words to say why. For everyone who struggles to feel and for everyone who feels too much. For everyone who had to pick themselves back up. For everyone who had to parent themselves. For everyone fighting an invisible battle. For everyone who has been underestimated. For everyone who has to flee to other worlds to cope. For everyone who found other means to silence their voices. For everyone who was silenced. For everyone who was over powered. For everyone who was made to be less. For everyone who had to watch someone else suffer and stay silent. For everyone asking themselves, why? Why would you do this? What did I do? Why is this happening to me? It was never your fault.Concluída
Abigail
(In editing) She's depressed. She's anorexic. She's suicidal. She's insecure. Abigail has grown up with her three brothers and James, never meeting her parents, who abandoned her at birth. Her brothers were left to take care of her and keep a roof over their heads. Everyday they struggle to take care of Abigail, while working to keep them in their home. Life for them is hard. Life for Abigail is even harder. She has a dark mind and not by choice. Somewhere along the way she's developed these feelings of loneliness and hopelessness. Everyday is a struggle for her and just getting out of bed is a success. She meets Zach, a bad boy with a bad reputation. He starts off as a tutor, just to help her out, out of pity. But eventually feelings get involved and Abigail finds herself liking a boy for the first time in her life. Things get serious and she somehow learns about his drug dealing business. Everything gets hectic and Abigail doesn't know what to do with her life anymore. Or if she even wants to live.Concluída
Diary of an anorexic
I use this as my diary. I write down all my thoughts and I hope it'll help me.Concluída
It was under control
Jules Hart returns to the psychiatric ward, her life has fallen apart once again. She had it under control. Or was it all just her imagination? She encounters trials and tribulations with her eating disorder recovery, being forced into situations like no other; ending in painful repercussions and unhealthy coping mechanisms. After deciding she no longer wants help, Jules escapes the psychiatric ward; resulting in her attempting to take her own life. The consequence of her actions, broke Tom's heart in the process, all the while he held her sick body. Her life has led her down the path of having to recover from not only the torturous eating disorder, but the addictive self harm and torment of the suicidal ideation. Let's just hope Jules gets her happy ending... ~ "GET OFF ME! GET THE HELL OFF ME! I DON'T LIKE BEING TOUCHED! GET THE FUCK OFF ME. TOM PLEASE HELP ME. TOM! PLEASE GET THEM OFF ME. I'M SO SCARED!" Jules's fragile body was making a forceful connection with the cold and unsympathetic ground. Her bloodline exiting and tainting her body and all of the surroundings. Her painful and emotional screams echoed the white corridor, while Jules's body shook and shivered, and dizzy spells with blurry covered eyes; forced her body and mind to experience a feeling of disconnection. The fit of fear that swirled in the pit of Jules's stomach made her head jolt violently side to side, along with front and back; causing her forehead to strike the floor. ~TW: Eating disorder, suicide and self harm mentioned throughout~Concluída
My Deadly Little Secret (completed)
As I stood there looking at myself I knew right at that moment how much hated what I had saw. Not everything is as it seems. I would laugh, smile, and have fun, however it's all an act. All my life I've been bullied, pushed down, and broken. In the end, I truly wish things were different but then again nothing can change what has already happened. I'm depressed and I'm going to kill myself.Concluída
"I felt as if I didn't belong, And I felt as if i'm not sick enough" Alfie struggles with the concept of food. He loves it, he hates it and just wants to find peace with it and within himself. He wants to make up with his body, his mind but he's lost all control so he's finding it hard to live. Alfie Hailo, a 16 year old swimmer, has been struggling with food since the age of 13. His parents put him in dance class when he was 6 but he was getting bullied as he got older, so decided to quit and choose a more 'masculine' sport.His father also left the family home 2 years prior and has been struggling to understand why. He has amazing friends, and an amazing family who love and care for him dearly but, he doesn't feel this. He feels like he has to be perfect. With the pressure of school, and having to keep up to the social norms of a professional swimmer, it's hard for Alfie to concentrate. He needs the help. And to do this, Alvin helps. Alvin helps him find his worth, take control, and makes his life easier, or so he seems. His best friends, Killian and Ruby, know Alfie inside and out. They know his family life, school life. And this is because Alfie is a simple person. He has never had a detention, nor has he been expelled. He's a straight A student with no history of alcohol or drug abuse. Will they suspect anything? How will Alfie proceed with his excruciating pain. Will he cover it up or will he find the courage to speak up and seek help?
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