Solomon Ballthazar Sallow is an insufferable and deluded man who believes he is God's greatest gift to women and the sport of basketball. This is the true story of his life (according to him), as an ex-professional basketball player before he was forced to give up his budding career to care for Sebastian and Anne. He may also be in love with a ball. SFW I dedicate this crack-fic to @morelikeravenbore and @2centniffler. Thank you for allowing me the pleasure of writing you into Solomon's delusion, I love you.