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I just want to be drunk high or dead right now and no I wont take my medican anymore im done being artificial. Its too hard not being the real me. Im done, I give up. Im ,its...idk I cant explain it I just know im in darkness, yet all the lights are on. I  just want to be in eternal sleep. Turn the pain off. Get rid of my emotions and my self. Ill just take my meds, be what sociaty wants me to be. Until I can be me, and be free again. Idk who I am. Im just a mystery. Like a blank page u keep but dont know why. Un needed