I don't know where this ends, but I think I'll keep going - WCDukes - Wattpad

I don't know where this ends, but I think I'll keep going

Reads 116
Votes 83
Parts 10
Time 44m

Reads 116
Votes 83
Parts 10
Time 44m

bonkers dontquityourdayjob getalife satire surreal twisted wtf

For fans of Jason Pargin AKA David Wong, Jack Townsend, and that weird kid who talks shit which no one listens to but won't stop talking about online while hating on him. The world has sunk lower than a stripper ant who can pick up crumbs bent over backwards. No one wants to be President so they are picked by lottery. The winner always is a loser usually assassinated the first week in office. Ned, a failed gambler and POTUS 1,000,000 decides  to beat the odds by implanting a detonator in his chest which will trigger a nuclear apocalypse when his heart stops ticking. He gives everyone a choice: you can either enter his virtual town of Nedville where you can blissfully live out your days  doing nothing or you can spend the rest of your life empty the bedpans of Nedville's citizens. Now Ed is on life support! It's up to Randy, the G.O.A.T.I.E (Greatest of All Time In Everything) and his on/off again girlfriend, Alias, uber superstar of the band, Trinity, to enter Nedville and defuse the situation. The only problem is, they hate each other. Includes original lyrics you are invited to set to music (seriously, I'm an old dude who can't play an instrument either. Taylor Swift, make yourself useful!)All Rights Reserved

bonkers dontquityourdayjob getalife satire surreal twisted wtf

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In The End(*EDITING*) by CidnyKings

Why is it so dark though? , am I blind? Damn, what if I am? "Bitch you isn't blind, open your eyes" I heard someone said. "How do you know what she's thinking?" "She's my other half, I know these shit, and right now I know she's wondering how the hell I woke up before her. I finally beat her at something, suck on that bitch" I stretched my hand out towards the voice and held on tight to his throat, "bitch let me go, you can't kill me, I'm too sexy to die!" they screamed. I turned my head, opened my eyes looking straight into David's eyes and gave him my most evil smirk, "Ahhhh, she's possessed, get out, get out of her, in the name and blood of Jesus, I command you evil spirit bitch, GET OUT OF HER" he screamed After the tragic loss of their family, Rose and David got sucked into a whole world they never knew about. Join them as they fight through obstacles and experience dangerous endeavors. Warning; contains mature scenes, excessive swearing. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!!!

Bottoms Up. (DNF high-school au) by GirlinRed29

George's life was perfect up until the age of 17. His father, the person he was closest with, died in a brutal car accident. This left just him and his mother, who couldn't seem to stay sober. They moved to a small town in Florida, basically in the middle of nowhere to start over. Clay, on the other hand, lives a very happy life. He earns a steady allowance from helping his parents on their farm. Everyone at school loves him. He gets good grades. Girls like him. Clay is hiding a dark secret, though. One that could never be exposed to a small town like this. Clay likes men. The only people that know are his friend group and parents. How long can he bear to keep this secret for? Started: December 25th, 2023 Ended: January 10th, 2024 #5 in DNF #7 in DNF #11 in dnf TW: Mention of death SA R@pe Drug abuse Alcoholism Homophobia Self harm Suicidal thoughts Violence Bullying Abuse Smut ED

The Other Side (Countryhumans) by MamaSkittle

It's been a while since he had felt a true form of kindness, that wasn't led by fear. And to not be treated as a child who doesn't know what he's doing. America just decides its time for him to show who he truly is, and in the awakening a somewhat familiar face comes around. He just wants to find his twin, and help him back to the light, as what happened in the civil war. But the fire of fury will only be doused with gasoline, and lead a set of countries down into the flames and in hopes to stop America before it is too late. And in all of that, an old friend comes around to America, and shows him his past, to remind him who he was born to truly be, whether it is for the good of all or not. Warnings: Angst Gore Cussing Ships

Sweet Poison by EnchantingWords

What happens when you accidentally clash with the scariest thing in your life? A killer? No. A zombie? Think again. A vampire? Worst. Michael Myers? Pft, you wish. London Peters is the type of girl to get along with everybody, well almost. There is a certain group of people that she steers clear of. Why, is she afraid? On the contrary, they should watch out for her. She's not the 'beware' type but you do not want to get on her bad side. Is she in love with one of them? Not in a million years. Who are we even talking about? Oh yeah, The Venomous Six. The Venomous Six is a group of the school's bad boys. The guys hate them but secretly admire them. The girls die for their attention. All but one, London Peters. Hate is too weak a word to describe her dislike to this elite group of guys. Unbeknownst to them she knows their dirty little secret. Why does she avoid them? Besides her hatred she does not want to be lured into their trap like all the other girls. Oh, did I forget to mention they are the six hottest guys in school. She is certain she will never fall for one of them that would be her nightmare come to life. London thinks she's stayed under the radar but what she doesn't know is that The Venomous Six know about her. I mean how could you not know the only girl that does not fawn over them. To her disgrace, Aiden, the leader, is very much attracted to her. What happens when fate puts these two together? Can London ignore the fire that Aiden seems to ignite? After all he is one tempting poisoned apple. Will she have a taste of this Sweet Poison?

Dₒwₙ ₜₕₑ ᵣₐbbᵢₜ ₕₒₗₑ: ₜWₛₜ by IdiasCumRag

"𝔗𝔞𝔨𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢, ℜ𝔞𝔟𝔟𝔦𝔱. 𝔚𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡𝔫'𝔱 𝔴𝔞𝔫𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔱𝔬 𝔤𝔢𝔱 𝔩𝔬𝔰𝔱." 𝓦𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓲𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓲𝓭𝓮𝓪 𝓸𝓯 𝓭𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓱? 𝓘 𝓶𝓮𝓪𝓷 𝓘 𝓫𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓮𝓿𝓮 𝓲𝓽'𝓼 𝓽𝓸 𝓼𝓮𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓮𝓷𝓭 𝓸𝓯 𝓸𝓷𝓮𝓼 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮 𝓫𝓾𝓽...𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓭𝓸𝓮𝓼 𝓲𝓽 𝓽𝓻𝓾𝓵𝔂 𝓶𝓮𝓪𝓷? • Lost in time, a young rabbit falls too deep down a rabbit hole and ends up in a world of chaos. will this rabbit show it's true colors or will it manage to deceive every soul in this hell? [Twst x reader / Violent themes / gore / 'Stolen' from my friend, AcidSugar21 / Dead dove: this is a joke, its not dead dove / Sexual themes / themes of discrimination / Themes of death.] [Discontinued]

How to NOT be alone in New York by hariiis

Completed DISCLAIMER: This guide may end you in the following situations- falling in love, finding your long lost cousins, make new friends, make you wanna never to leave New York again, etc [}{][}{][}{][}{][}{] Are you a girl/boy who decided to surprise her long-distance girl/boyfriend for New Year but ends up getting dumped and now you are super lonely in a foreign country where you know no one? Well, this is a very unofficial guide on how to survive if you are in this situation! [}{][}{][}{][}{][}{] Sneak peek- I'm just a stupid girl who is crying over a dump high school boyfriend in a small cafe. Idiot idiot idiot "You okay?" I snap my head to the voice and see the pretty boy standing in front of me with a concerned face I sniffled "yeah, it's just stupid" I wave it off with a forced laugh I don't want to trouble him He slides in the booth right in front of me and I watch him "I'm sure it isn't stupid, tell me. I'm a pretty good listener" he gives me a million-dollar smile and I smile back "I'm Lev Night" he introduces with an extended hand "Karlissa Smith" I shake his hand while looking deep into his eyes Damn [}{][}{][}{][}{][}{] Actual disclaimer lol: mature language Updates on Wednesdays* NOT A FANFICTION #1 in Canada

MANIPULATED Book B (Sequel to Tempted) by CorruptedN1ghtmare

IF YOU HAVE NOT READ "AREN'T YOU TEMPTED", PLEASE DO SO. AS THIS WILL MAKE ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE TO YOU WHATSOEVER. You decided to: let him go. Welcome back reader. So... You have decided to let Anti go. Interesting... Dont worry, if you want to change your mind after reading the description, you can. But as soon as you start to read the first chapter of any of the two books, your fate has been sealed. Like I said before: choose WISELY. But if you are fully convinced that this is the only way to go, then by all means, go forth on your journey. You let him go. And you start to regret it. You realize that you still love him. But at the same time, you have become very aware of your surroundings, checking your computer for any unnatural signs, looking behind your back as you walk down the street, and lock your bedroom door before you sleep. You feel Anti there watching you. It's quite annoying, but you cant help but get chills every time you think about what Anti said to you. "I not finished with you yet." What does he plan to do to you? Or a better question: what does HE plan to do with you? Turns out you just might be more valuable that you were said to be SAME WARNINGS GO FOR THIS BOOK ⚠️WARNING ⚠️ Contains strong language, blood, violence, ❌possible trigger warnings❌ And not-so-smut (yes its a thing because I invented it. It means there some smut but like nothing actually HAPPENING. At least not in writing...)

Fiona (Book 1) by TheColoredGirl17

"I'm Pregnant," I told the man who was the closest person I had to a friend in this office. Nathaniel Taylor who thinks I'm a talented creator here at the company. He's kind, supportive, and loved by everyone in the company. So when telling him this news I hope this doesn't get too ugly. He finally looks up from his files. His blue eyes were warm and inviting, rising from his seat he comes around to hug me tightly. "Congratulations. Are you here to discuss maternal leave or something? Why are you coming up to me with this?" Okay, I'm confused, "Umm sir... the child is yours." He backs up in shock. Stuffing his hands in his pockets he avoids eye contact. "The kid isn't mine. We haven't slept together. Believe me, I would've remembered. I don't forget women I've slept with." He simply puts going back to his desk, sitting down and filing through papers. Mortified I go to turn around to be stopped by his following words. "You must've slept with my twin brother Seth. And this isn't to scare you but... We buried his 4th wife last week."

WEEDSTARS by FiddlesandScratches

3 different parts, 1 wholesome rated R story in play format. Lots of action and dialogue, little narration ------------------------------------------------------- [WARNING] THIS STORY IS FOR MATURE AUDIENCES WHO CAN HANDLE THE FOLLOWING TOPICS: SEX (LOTS), VIOLENCE, GORE, LANGUAGE, LOTS OF LANGUAGE, SO MUCH LANGUAGE IT'S NOT OK, RACISM, RACIST REMARKS, SLURS, SENSITIVE TOPICS, SENSITIVE JOKES, DARK JOKES AND REFERENCES YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND. THIS IS A SATIRICAL STORY NOT MEANT TO OFFEND ANYONE. ------------------------------------------------------- In an alternate reality semester 2 of Cherryton Academy starts up as a mysterious murder happens, Legless the protagonist, decides to figure out what is going on. In doing so he uncovers many secrets and becomes friends with many people. But the butterfly effect is just starting, nothing is normal when it comes to Weedstars (Names just in case) Legoshi - Legless Jack - Ladder Boi Juno - Jugs Pina - Penis Louis - Rouie? (with the question mark) Haru - Haircut Bill - Bill Williamson Durham - Flounder Miguno - Chex Collot - HipHop Ibuki - Itchy Agata - LionMaker Free - Fiddles Dolph - Scratches Cheif Lion - Queef Chief Mayor - Bimbo Mayor Tem - Ten Gon - C**t Principal Barite - Little S**t Cosmo - Runa? (also with question mark) Gohin - Panda Express Melon - Cantaloupe Ten - Yurigo and some original characters that you will find rather... interesting.

Maybe This is Enough 𓇚 The Onceler x Jon Arbuckle 𓇚 by RoseWrites244

whoops my hand slipped 𓇗------------𓇗 #1 in thelorax [ 04/16/24 ] 𓇗------------𓇗 ~ [ Garfield x The Lorax (2012) Crossover ] ~ ! \ SFW / ! ? { 100% Satire, however since I'm extra like that I'll be treating it like it's not } ¿ !! ^ Lorax Approved!! ^ !! 𝙶̴𝚊̴𝚛̴𝚏̴𝚒̴𝚎̴𝚕̴𝚍̴ 𝚊̴𝚗̴𝚍̴ 𝚝̴𝚑̴𝚎̴ 𝙻̴𝚘̴𝚛̴𝚊̴𝚡̴ 𝚍̴𝚘̴ 𝚗̴𝚘̴𝚝̴ 𝚋̴𝚎̴𝚕̴𝚘̴𝚗̴𝚐̴ 𝚝̴𝚘̴ 𝚖̴𝚎̴ 𓇗------------𓇗 Jon Arbuckle lost everything. His girlfriend, his job, and sooner or later his house. Severely in debt and heavily stressed out, Jon decides to take his pets to live with him at his mom's house. But uh oh! Disaster strikes, and Jon ends up driving into the middle of a tornado! [ 🤯 ] Little did Jon know that that one road trip and that one little tornado would change the course of his life forever... 𓇗------------𓇗 "Your fanfic was literally obliterating, your use of words was chefs kiss 💋" - Alice 𓇗------------𓇗 This is what happens when you're bored af and need to practice writing 💀‼️

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Slide 1 of 10

In The End(*EDITING*) cover

Bottoms Up. (DNF high-school au) cover

The Other Side (Countryhumans) cover

Sweet Poison cover

Dₒwₙ ₜₕₑ ᵣₐbbᵢₜ ₕₒₗₑ: ₜWₛₜ cover

How to NOT be alone in New York cover

MANIPULATED Book B (Sequel to Tempted) cover

Fiona (Book 1) cover

WEEDSTARS cover

Maybe This is Enough 𓇚 The Onceler x Jon Arbuckle 𓇚 cover

In The End(EDITING)

Why is it so dark though? , am I blind? Damn, what if I am? "Bitch you isn't blind, open your eyes" I heard someone said. "How do you know what she's thinking?" "She's my other half, I know these shit, and right now I know she's wondering how the hell I woke up before her. I finally beat her at something, suck on that bitch" I stretched my hand out towards the voice and held on tight to his throat, "bitch let me go, you can't kill me, I'm too sexy to die!" they screamed. I turned my head, opened my eyes looking straight into David's eyes and gave him my most evil smirk, "Ahhhh, she's possessed, get out, get out of her, in the name and blood of Jesus, I command you evil spirit bitch, GET OUT OF HER" he screamed After the tragic loss of their family, Rose and David got sucked into a whole world they never knew about. Join them as they fight through obstacles and experience dangerous endeavors. Warning; contains mature scenes, excessive swearing. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!!!