I don't know where this ends, but I think I'll keep going

For fans of Jason Pargin AKA David Wong, Jack Townsend, and that weird kid who talks shit which no one listens to but won't stop talking about online while hating on him. The world has sunk lower than a stripper ant who can pick up crumbs bent over backwards. No one wants to be President so they are picked by lottery. The winner always is a loser usually assassinated the first week in office. Ned, a failed gambler and POTUS 1,000,000 decides to beat the odds by implanting a detonator in his chest which will trigger a nuclear apocalypse when his heart stops ticking. He gives everyone a choice: you can either enter his virtual town of Nedville where you can blissfully live out your days doing nothing or you can spend the rest of your life empty the bedpans of Nedville's citizens. Now Ed is on life support! It's up to Randy, the G.O.A.T.I.E (Greatest of All Time In Everything) and his on/off again girlfriend, Alias, uber superstar of the band, Trinity, to enter Nedville and defuse the situation. The only problem is, they hate each other. Includes original lyrics you are invited to set to music (seriously, I'm an old dude who can't play an instrument either. Taylor Swift, make yourself useful!)