I don't know where this ends, but I think I'll keep going
  • Reads 116
  • Votes 83
  • Parts 10
  • Time 44m
  • Reads 116
  • Votes 83
  • Parts 10
  • Time 44m
Ongoing, First published May 09, 2024
For fans of Jason Pargin AKA David Wong, Jack Townsend, and that weird kid who talks shit which no one listens to but won't stop talking about online while hating on him. The world has sunk lower than a stripper ant who can pick up crumbs bent over backwards. No one wants to be President so they are picked by lottery. The winner always is a loser usually assassinated the first week in office. Ned, a failed gambler and POTUS 1,000,000 decides  to beat the odds by implanting a detonator in his chest which will trigger a nuclear apocalypse when his heart stops ticking. He gives everyone a choice: you can either enter his virtual town of Nedville where you can blissfully live out your days  doing nothing or you can spend the rest of your life empty the bedpans of Nedville's citizens. Now Ed is on life support! It's up to Randy, the G.O.A.T.I.E (Greatest of All Time In Everything) and his on/off again girlfriend, Alias, uber superstar of the band, Trinity, to enter Nedville and defuse the situation. The only problem is, they hate each other. Includes original lyrics you are invited to set to music (seriously, I'm an old dude who can't play an instrument either. Taylor Swift, make yourself useful!)
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The Losers Club

18 parts Complete Mature

Mikey Way, Nichole Row, Awsten Knight, Ryan Ross, and the infamous Pete Wentz. The fabulous five. The rulers of highschool hallways. The untouchable ones. Mikey Way, one of the most popular kids at school, he could ruin your high school career, he's the class president, and his dad is the principal, rumor has it the voting was rigged so he could win like his older brother. Nichole Row, she's Mikey's step sister, she's the baby and she definitely acts like one. She's gets what she wants, always wearing the most expensive clothing on the market and drives a Porsche. She's the one the spread that rumor about Hayley Williams, the one that made her mute. You'll know the one. She hangs on her brother like a clingy girlfriend. Awsten Knight, the school slut, he sleeps with anyone. He also sells all sorts of drugs, things you never even heard before, he's dirty, but nobody would ever say that to his face, because he's actually put someone in the hospital. He and Nichole love to spread rumors about people. Ryan Ross, he's captain of the hockey team and a hot head, there was a rumour going around that he slept with Dan Keyes his Sophomore year, but that rumor quickly died, and if he hears that you repeated that rumor in the hallway. You best believe he'll be waiting for you after class. He'd rather kill himself then admit he likes men, pretty men like Awsten Knight. Pete Wentz, he's the son of the mayor and the boyfriend-ish of Nichole Row, they sleep around but in the end, belong to each other. Rumor has it that he's had his way with many highschool girls, varying between all ages. When parents went to sue, the charges were dropped every time. He will hurt you in more ways you could handle and nobody has crossed him and made it out alive. You understand now?