What I Really Am - dj - Wattpad

Story cover for What I Really Am by northrndwnpour_

What I Really Am

northrndwnpour_

Reads 28,393
Votes 559
Parts 18
Time 1h 19m

Reads 28,393
Votes 559
Parts 18
Time 1h 19m

northrndwnpour_

Mature

brendon disco fanfic fic panic patd ross ryan ryden rydon urie

this used to have an intro, but since i wrote it two years ago i deleted it
please don't hate me for abandoning it, i realized it was a shitty story imo :') but here i am finishing it for all of my loyal fans... ah yes

there's still good old sex and self harm in this because i can't change what i already wrote 
plus it helps with the plot
so yeahAll Rights Reserved

brendon disco fanfic fic panic patd ross ryan ryden rydon urie

Table of contents

18 parts

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Infinite, sometimes by northerndownpourr

***DISCLAIMER*** I did not write this story, full credits go to fullcollapse.livejournal.com. i only put it here so it's easy to read. Mostly AU, high school age setting. With the help of his friends, Ryan has just learned how to like life. Brendon hasn't yet found such luck. This is a story about strong relationships, trust, not wanting to be alone, and holding hands. There's a river, and just like its never-ending path to the ocean, some things just go on forever. Sometimes you need someone more than you need yourself, and sometimes, that's okay. Rating: R. Word count: 200,000+

Casual Affair [Ryden] by MerthurIsMyOTP

It's been four years. Four fucking years since I saw George Ryan Ross for the last time. I still don't understand why he left us. Why he left me. I thought we shared a bond. Guess it wasn't mutual... But today I got called, and that call might have changed my life forever... Warnings: -Ryan is terribly fucked up in this story. He had an awful childhood and suffers from some mental problems. He's kinda depressed and stuff, so if you want a happy Ryan you have to find another fanfiction. -Sexual content. I don't put warnings in my chapters. -Boy x boy

Only Summer Loves October - Ryden by BritishDownpour

A Ryden AU fan fiction, set in the 90's. Featuring past and current line up of P!ATD, plus members of other bands. Ryan/Brendon 1st POV. Trigger warnings: Substance abuse (alcohol + drugs), violence, sex, death, torture references. All characters are completely fictional and do not reflect the real life of the person they're based on. Please forgive me & let me know if you notice any errors in the story and I'll get these updated asap, either with spelling/grammar or not being factually correct (I'm British so bound to make some mistakes). Part One - Completed Part Two - Coming soon

Oh Doctor Doctor ⎯ Ryden by mingidefender

Ryan and Brendon both work in a hospital. not my story. all creds go to the original writer, who deleted their ao3 account. only publishing cause i wanna read LMFAOOO

A kiss that lasted a year // Ryden fanfic by vicsleftasscheek

TRIGGER WARNINGS!! Okay this is a shit story so don't expect it to be good Ryan was chilling one day in Maths when a new kid joined his class. He didn't think much of it, but he comes to realise that slowly, he falls for the boy who he later on learns that his name is Brendon. Until one day, Brendon tells Ryan something about himself that changes the other's perspective. Well, when it's New Year's Eve, he's ready to go and properly confess his love either way, but he sees something else. I actually don't know if my story should be labelled as Mature, but just in case Started: 17 August 2025 Finished: 5 September 2025 Edited: 6 September 2025

Laced With Nitroglycerin {Ryden} (IN EDITING) by cheese-whiz

{This story gets really confusing sorry about that} Oh uh hi didn't see you there I'm Grace and this is my second Ryden fanfic...hopefully it's not as crappy as the last one lol Also sorry for the shitty cover if anyone is actually willing to make me a cover talk to me thnks

𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐆𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐒 by TheOG_

*DISCONTINUED* "Why do you do this?" "Because it takes the pain away." "No it doesn't. It just distracts you. Distracts you from what you're 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘺 hurting about inside." -------------------- This is a Ryan Ross x reader. Not everything in this is accurate! The reader in this story is female, I'm so sorry if these are not the pronouns you go by! ⚠Warnings⚠: swearing, mentions of self harm, abuse, and drinking and more. I will put a warning in front of any chapter that includes any sensitive material. 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚍: 6/14/20 𝙵𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚍: 𝚂𝙻𝙾𝚆 𝚄𝙿𝙳𝙰𝚃𝙴𝚂! 𝙘𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙗𝙮 𝙢𝙮𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝘿𝙄𝙎𝘾𝙇𝘼𝙄𝙈𝙀𝙍: 𝙄 𝙙𝙤 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙍𝙮𝙖𝙣 𝙍𝙤𝙨𝙨, 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧, 𝙎𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚𝙧 𝙎𝙢𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙤𝙧 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙚𝙡𝙨𝙚. 𝙄 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙚.

•love has no expiration date•//ryden (discontinued) by -audacity-

ryan just transferred to a new school, and it's already hell, until he meets brendon... {TRIGGER WARNING: self-harm, bullying, and others} okay so I've been getting messages about the story and how it's triggering and I've had the warning there the entire time so if you're going to hate on me for not putting a warning in front of every single chapter don't read this okay i apologise, this is really bad. it was my first book I tried to write, and it's just not good. so don't bother if you don't like being disappointed in the quality of stories. update: Not updating this anymore... sorry to all the amazing people who read it♡ not taking it down because even though it's cringey, it was my first one and I think people understand. i tried to write this with American spellings and like words n shit but idk if it worked sO

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Slide 1 of 8

Infinite, sometimes cover

Casual Affair [Ryden] cover

Only Summer Loves October - Ryden cover

Oh Doctor Doctor ⎯ Ryden cover

A kiss that lasted a year // Ryden fanfic cover

Laced With Nitroglycerin {Ryden} (IN EDITING) cover

𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐆𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐒 cover

•love has no expiration date•//ryden (discontinued) cover

Infinite, sometimes

DISCLAIMER I did not write this story, full credits go to fullcollapse.livejournal.com. i only put it here so it's easy to read. Mostly AU, high school age setting. With the help of his friends, Ryan has just learned how to like life. Brendon hasn't yet found such luck. This is a story about strong relationships, trust, not wanting to be alone, and holding hands. There's a river, and just like its never-ending path to the ocean, some things just go on forever. Sometimes you need someone more than you need yourself, and sometimes, that's okay. Rating: R. Word count: 200,000+