The "Real" Zombie Guide - De Zombie - Wattpad

Story cover for The "Real" Zombie Guide by DeZombie

The "Real" Zombie Guide

Reads 2,309
Votes 142
Parts 8
Time 12m

Reads 2,309
Votes 142
Parts 8
Time 12m

apocalypse brains comedy corny dank darkcomedy darkhumor funny geeks goh joe jokes jonsnow original parody puns stalkers thewall walkers zombie

What happens if the zombie apocalypse starts and Joe, a ordinary guy, finds "The Real Zombie Guide" a book, that soon everybody notices that it's stacked with the secrets of the zombie apocalypse, and then... It all cuts loose.

This story will be stacked to the max in comedy, parody and clichés!
So sit back and enjoy!

"BASED" ON A TRUE STORYAll Rights Reserved

apocalypse brains comedy corny dank darkcomedy darkhumor funny geeks goh joe jokes jonsnow original parody puns stalkers thewall walkers zombie

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8 parts

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Odd Jobs for the Undead - A Zombie For Hire Story by Ricardo-Sanchez

Gordon longs for the simple things in life. A job. A place to rest his head. Someone to love. The same things everybody wants. But being a zombie makes achieving any of these basics a challenge, even for a special “high functioning” zombie that hasn’t lost the capacity to think and feel. So what if he shambles a bit when he walks? Sure he's a little gassier than the average guy, but who hasn't let one go in the elevator? And yes, pieces of his body do occasionally fall off, but he can put them back on. It's not like he's one of the "groaner" zombies that shuffle about looking for brains to chomp on. But things could be worse. Gordon has a decent business going as a Zombie for Hire. Got a job too dangerous for an air breather? Clifford is your man. Toxic waste clean up? Done. Living crash test dummy? On it. Really nasty crime scene clean up? He’s your undead man. He’s even has a blind date coming up. It’s too bad good things rarely happen to good zombies…His new boss may have a secret agenda and the girl of his dreams has, well, character issues. But with the help of Penny, his funerary cosmetician gal pal, and Merl, his agent, he might just make it through to sunrise without someone planting a truncheon in his skull.

The Dead Aren't Just Underground Anymore by Still_Disasterology

[AU Zombie Apocalypse book] - Some Parts are Private, so you'll have to follow me (Sorryyy xx) Even since before the dead started walking in the streets I'd always been a very cautious person, never go out late or alone, don't trust strangers. Who would've guessed being cautious is what helps keep you alive in the middle of a zombie apocalypse? It's easy enough to fight off one or two, but taking a herd on by yourself is a death wish. They just keep coming, they don't care about anything other than spreading the virus. See that's the thing about the dead. They have nothing left to lose.. Warning: Random, emotional stuff ahead, read if you dare.

The Walking Dead by Rory05_Grimes

Alright, so people these days are kinda different. Especially when the z-pocalypse started. Now people, or survivors as I call them, are kinda different. Unlike our days before, they can either take in a group or a lone stranger to be in their group. But right now, they're all different. They'll bust in to your property with guns as confetti, bazookas as fireworks, and grenades as firecrackers. Now once they took over your territory, they can either unhook your soul from your body or give you a chance to see our terrible world again. But don't worry about me. I ain't one of them. My names Rory by the way. Anyway, enough the talking and more on the story. In these so called "WalkerDays" People are struggling to survive against the flesh eaters for what we mostly call zombies but in our world, we call them walkers. In the middle of the apocalypse, Rory is a 13 year old girl who is living in Atlanta, Georgia. Rory's father is military man and has been elected as the leader of their group after the true leader died. At first, their community is at Fort Benning, then a week or so later, their group decided to take over a part of Atlanta then slowly take over the whole city. Weeks passed and they'd completed their task and had a very large community. As months passed Rory's teacher assigned her to be the leader of her group of 32 people in her school. One day, there was an attack by the deaders that happened in their whole community and Rory led out her group out to the safe house but one member didn't follow the orders which caused her group to be separated away from her and then she decided to travel on her own and later met a group.

Life as the Undead by UnknownArtist0

Living as the undead sucks! You are always slow, mumble when you talk, and you are only understood by the other zombies. If only that blasted zombie hadn't bitten me! I could be escaping with some hot guy away from this disaster of a life, but no, here I am, a zombie, and it sucks! Highest Rank - #232 Zombie

Floor 31 by pha0023

The world is ending. The Earth is painted with the blood of humans. Only zombies and monsters roam the lands now. But in the last standing building, 6 teenagers unexpectedly meet each other. Each helping another to survive the dangers of the what the world has become. They bond, they trust but Dream stands out from the others because she is strange and mutant-like. No one could fully trust her, not that it'd matter anyway because Dream trusts no one except herself. So, when they receive a message which sends them to the very top of the hotel. Floor 31. They are forced to fight and kill zombies and monsters just for a chance of safety. But does this 'safety' even exist?

Humanity's Hope: Book 1 in the Saving Humanity Series by PembrokeSinclair

What happens when humanity's hope rests on the shoulder of a teenager? Caleb didn't come out of the zombie uprising unscathed. He's been scarred-both mentally and physically. The rest of humanity is trying to rebuild, to make the world normal again. Caleb is trying to return to a normal life also, but after all he's seen, after the loss of his family and friends, the transition is difficult. The darkness that led him down a path of self-doubt and self-harm has never left his mind. Things only become worse when he discovers he's immune to whatever makes a zombie a zombie. Fighting zombies was predictable. He knew what to expect. Fighting humans is volatile. They are malicious and treacherous. They won't stop to get what they want, and Caleb has to figure out exactly what that is. *Trigger warning: Attempted suicide

Lost In A Deadly Paradise by adSummer14

The school started off as any other school year for Autumn Winters. But at the worst possible moment an outbreak occured and the whole school turned into chaos. Autumn and her misfit group of friends make it out of the school, trying to fight for their lives as the people they once knew and maybe even loved tried to bite at their flesh. The group met new people and made new friends, as well as making even more enimies as if them all being stuck with eachother wasn't bad enough. The question is, will the group of misfits survive long enough to be rescued from this mess? Or will some fail to survive or die horribly trying?

The Walking Dead - Pewdiepie's Story by CloudyApplesss

Pewdiepie suddenly wakes up into.. The zombie apocalypse. Desperately trying to find his loved ones and get back to them. Will Pewds ever find them in time.? Or will it be too late.? This is my first story so excuse my horrible writing skills. Love ya. <3

Halo | 18+ by honeywriitings

The beginning of the end... Ten years after a nuclear explosion obliterates the world they once knew, a groups of survivors fight to establish a new life. What they don't know is that hiding in the shadows are 'walkers' - creatures that have been slowly growing in numbers, and strength from the fallout of the explosion. There are two rules for surviving the post-apocalyptic world: Rule number one: Always go for the head. Rule number two: Never look back. But when a blast-from-the-past causes them to watch over their shoulders, they realise they may be in more danger than they anticipated. So what happens when you mix danger with destruction? You get a Halo. -*_ Started: 2/03/2023 Finished: #2 end of the world 1/05/23 #1 end of the world 5/05/23

Survive by LLBK731

A group of teens are in a zombie apocalypse. How will they work together in order to stay alive? In order to survive as a team. How long can they live without wanting to kill each other?

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Slide 1 of 10

Odd Jobs for the Undead - A Zombie For Hire Story cover

The Dead Aren't Just Underground Anymore cover

The Walking Dead cover

Life as the Undead cover

Humanity's Hope: Book 1 in the Saving Humanity Series cover

Lost In A Deadly Paradise cover

The Walking Dead - Pewdiepie's Story cover

Halo | 18+ cover

Odd Jobs for the Undead - A Zombie For Hire Story

Gordon longs for the simple things in life. A job. A place to rest his head. Someone to love. The same things everybody wants. But being a zombie makes achieving any of these basics a challenge, even for a special “high functioning” zombie that hasn’t lost the capacity to think and feel. So what if he shambles a bit when he walks? Sure he's a little gassier than the average guy, but who hasn't let one go in the elevator? And yes, pieces of his body do occasionally fall off, but he can put them back on. It's not like he's one of the "groaner" zombies that shuffle about looking for brains to chomp on. But things could be worse. Gordon has a decent business going as a Zombie for Hire. Got a job too dangerous for an air breather? Clifford is your man. Toxic waste clean up? Done. Living crash test dummy? On it. Really nasty crime scene clean up? He’s your undead man. He’s even has a blind date coming up. It’s too bad good things rarely happen to good zombies…His new boss may have a secret agenda and the girl of his dreams has, well, character issues. But with the help of Penny, his funerary cosmetician gal pal, and Merl, his agent, he might just make it through to sunrise without someone planting a truncheon in his skull.