Understanding Why

Understanding Why

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Fri, Apr 10, 2015
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Fiction
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Everyone always says "You'll understand when your older." But when is older. When is the point where it starts to make sense. When is the point I feel wanted. When will I have a home? When? You'll never really know why your parents leave you. You'll never know why they just stopped caring. You just feel unwanted. When I was a baby my parents left me on the steps of an home for girls. My foster mother only told me what there was to know. I was in a basket. There was a necklace that said "Luna" on it, and that is it. Nothing more. Why didn't they leave a note saying why. Why didn't they stay with me until they couldn't. I always wanted to know why they left me. My foster mom is Eva. She was the nicest person I have ever met. She is a good mom, yet she never had kids of her own. We live in a small town. There is only six girls living with me. There was more, but they found homes. Me, well no one wants me, and I don't know why..
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[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression

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