Treading the line between existence and nothingness (VENTING STORY)
- Dibaca 620
- Vote 48
- Bab 14
This book is about me. I will describe my feelings and thoughts here to the best of my ability.
I suffer from DDD (Depersonalisation and derealization disorder) , ASD (Autism spectrum disorder, different from autism) , dyslexia and possibly the start of schizophrenia, but that is undiagnosed.
I've been falling in and out of depression and I'm suffering from heavy anxiety.
My dad and kindergarten gave me PTSD, which made me have trust issues with anyone and unapproachable.
All of these disorders and issues i have make my life so hard to live, with parents that deny all symptoms and a lack of real life friends.
I'm a person that used to have great suicidal thoughts at the ages late 10 to late 13, but ever since I've sworn to never think about harming myself ever again, and i force myself to enjoy life throughout the pain and suffering, insisting that i love being alive and I'd never wish for my death.
Is that really true though?
this book will detail it.
Thanks for taking the time to read through.
If you relate, feel free to share. I'm open to any conversation if any of you wish to talk.
Seluruh Hak Cipta Dilindungi Undang-Undang
Bergabunglah dengan komunitas bercerita terbesarDapatkan rekomendasi cerita yang dipersonalisasi, simpan cerita favoritmu ke perpustakaan, dan berikan komentar serta vote untuk membangun komunitasmu.
anda mungkin juga menyukai
A Pureblood slave
Cold and numb, that's the only thing I've felt for the past 3 months. There's around 10 other humans here excluding myself and new ones come everyday. No one knows exactly where we are, all we know is that our worst nightmares are about to come true. ** I was once a carefree and extroverted girl that would just go with the flow and live in the moment. That was until the day they came out of existence and started to up rule the world. Now they control everything, most importantly the human race. Some call them monsters, some call them the demons sending, but they are the purebloods, the first vampires to be created. They're the ones that capture us and sell us off as their slaves. They are soulless creatures that couldn't give a damn about anyone but themselves and their every need. ** This is my story about how I, Miabella Nicole Arksin, became a slave to the most powerful pureblood, Ronan Pierre. *This is the first story I've written so sorry if there's a couple mistakes here and there I'll try my best to fix them and thanks for reading :-)*Lengkap
Ran Right Into Him
Melanie Davis is traumatized to put it shortly, her dad died, her moms an alcoholic and she was raped my her trashy boyfriend. She has no one. Until one day, she bumps into the one guys whos is can be frequently found in her thoughts for the past year. Melanie has learned to keep her head down and emotions in so the sudden appearance of a man who wears his heart on his sleeve and is trying to pull hers out is a bit, well... a bit much. And she's got some secrets that almost no one knows and the journey to trusting someone is a long one. But I guess we'll see how it goes. TW: Mentions of rape, alcohol, drugs, language, sex/sexual references, and high school partying. I'd put no one under 18 but I'm under 18 so that be a bit hypocritical of me. Hope u enjoy. 👍 But beware that I am still a minor and I'm still in school so I might not have time to update everyday, I'll try to at last once a week. Bit on the weekends I have no life so you can expect more from me then. Anyways if anyone actually reads this, it's my first story that came purely from me and only, others I've written (never posted) have been coped or largely inspired by a story someone else had written so be gentle with me, okay? (P.S. I have really bad spelling and grammar so I read over these thoroughly but if there are any mistakes please tell me so I can go back and fix them I really want you guys to enjoys this book). This is book is based off parts of ,y life and own personal experience, several romance and mental health books, and songs like One Day by Tate McRae and don't miss me by Claire Rosinkranz. Give them a listen. 👌Lengkap
The Myth that Became Real
I was an ordinary girl, as normal as anyone can be. The day some mysterious guy rolled into town and noticed me, my world flipped upside down and things started happening. Things I could not explain. I wish I knew what was in store for me after he noticed me because my life would never be the same. Now my life was about as unnormal as you can get. Everything I thought to be true, especially about myself, was wrong. Not only this but now I live in a world where fantasy creatures exist. Werewolves, vampires, fae, trolls and more. They aren't just a fantasy anymore, they're real. My life was normal like any other person. Then my world came crashing down when I met Liam, he rocked every bone in my body and resistance was hard. I had to leave my world behind after finding out the truth of what I was and train as hard as I could. There were people after me and my kind and I wasn't sure how to stop them. How could I protect so many and lead a brand new life myself? How do I prevent war with the world? And how will I ever be able to resist Liam's charm when every fiber of my being pulls me toward him? The supernatural isn't a myth anymore, they are real and I'm one of them. And now the whole world is after us. Note: This can be read as a standalone but you can read Taken first if you want. There's no reason to read it if you don't want to. This book is completely understandable without reading Taken beforehand.
The Rogue King {18+} (Book 2)
[COMPLETED] I was cursed at such a young age, abandoned by my own wolf and the Moon Goddess for something that wasn't in my control. I don't even think having a mate is in the cards for me... ✨🌘✨ I jumped when the final horn sounded, circling the garden before everyone became silent. They all returned to their seats, my father rising from his chair as I stood from my seat along with the other pups. I struggled to breath as we took our position, standing in the centre away from everyone else. My father offered me a reassuring glance though it did nothing to ease my anxiety, all I had to do now was wait. My eyes widened when the moons blue light shined down on me, illuminating my skin as I stared up at the sky in awe. "We thank the moon goddess for the power of her light..." I dropped my gaze back down, my fathers words surrounding us, "...Shall it bathe you and grant you strength, agility, speed like the wolf..." The pups around me began to moan in pain, capturing my attention as I furrowed my brows. Their features were all contorted by an invisible pain that inflicted them but I felt absolutely nothing. My heart raced when their groans of pain became screams but I- I suddenly drop to the ground, a painful throbbing in my head forcing me to the ground. I grip the sides of my head, screaming. I don't know how to explain it but it felt as though my brain was tearing in two, like my head was cracking open. When the pain stopped, I found myself surrounded by wolves, the shifted pups. Looking down at myself, I only see my body, no paws and no fur. I hadn't shifted... ✨🌕✨ Book 2* 'The Wolven King' is the first book and must be read in order to understand this one. ⚠️ WARNING!! This book is mature and should only be read if you are 18+. There are depictions of violence, mature language, sexual behaviour and sexual abuse.Lengkap
Fallen
I sob deliberately. If this person is what I'm thinking then I have to fiddle the cards or else it will be a pain-pleasure game. I wanted to feel this, deep down I wanted to do this but with the state. What kind of a kink is this? Fifty shades of 365 DNI? I can't control my sobbing, the " Please, I beg you", it came out as a whisper to the breeze. " Stay perfectly still my dear" the person finally gave a gender reveal with its sinister commanding voice. I can feel him parting my legs more to accommodate his position. " I don't want you to whimper or make any unnecessary movements while I taste you or Else. . . ." If by any chance you have read this work on another platform outside of wattpad then It must be copied and stolen from me. Be warned and keep me warned.Lengkap
Why him?
(Sequel to "Why me?") I still have nightmares. It's been years, I've tried to move on yet they still haunt me. No matter what I do nothing can fix it. I still don't understand why anyone would treat an innocent soul as foul as they did mine. I sit awake at night wondering, what did I ever do to deserve such a thing? It may seem that I'm happy and that I'm a strong independent alpha now but little does everyone know I'm still broken, just as broken as when I watched my "parents" die right before my eyes. Even though all these thoughts rush through my head constantly there's always one question that I can never seem to shake. Why him? ••• Sequel to 'Why me?' I would recommend reading the first book before this. Warning: foul language and sexual content
Release
This is a collection of my writing from the past 7 years. Before I started to write, I was a very lost individual, as are most teens, but I was lost in darkness. I was too afraid to move anywhere at all. I hid in the dark, debilitated by my own anxiety, sadnesses, anger, and hopelessness. I was desperate to be loved and feared it the most, I was a coward, I was self-destructive, I would mentally bend my thoughts to the point of bordering insanity. I was born into this world alone, and got too comfortable with it. Maybe I still am, but a fraction of what I used to be. This writing is extremely vulnerable, and potentially disturbing to others, as all my weaknesses, strengths, obsessions with making every moment sentimental, the sickening desperation I've had, the destructiveness, and the constant brutal reconstruction of my mind. Without guidance, it's been absolute intense chaos. Though, there is beauty in the darkness. Everything can be found in the darkness. You'll find that through my writing, I've somehow slowly become exactly what I've written. A living representation of my writing and what I wanted to be. Without myself even knowing it. A lot of my writing themes are based around nature, or some kind of natural aspect. The imagery I paint with natural metaphors is constant, the animals, just like you and I, the plants, and all other living things. I planted these seeds in my mind, unknowingly at the time, where I now feel the deep dark green jungle pressing at the inner walls of my skull. It's all that I want to consume my mind. There's so much to learn. The magic of nature, and it's infinite wisdom. It's as if I have been on this path all along, and I didn't even know what I was doing, yet my body and mind were passively taking care of me. Giving me and eventually showing exactly what I want, and wanted to become. I have every moment, every instance of suffering, and every epiphany to be thankful for. Soon, I'll be at peace from the raging storm.Lengkap![Blind As a Bat [1st book complete]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/128193278-256-k713759.jpg)
Blind As a Bat [1st book complete]
Book 1 He was cast to the edges of his clan. His father could not stand to even look at him. His baby sister probably didn't even know he was her brother... All because he, unlike all other vampire (The correct terminology will be Wanpyrkos; van-peer-coe-s) kind, was born blind. And what do all creatures do to those that are different, those that do not fit society, those that they think should not have been born to this civilized society...? [Book Cover Made by the wonderful THEMIDNIGHTECLIPSE13] - thank you! I'm only introducing the perspective of the main character for the first part. Things change drastically soon after that. [BDSM entries are clearly marked and written so they can be skipped without affecting the story] ***A couple scenes to whet your palate*** 1. "Uh, we heal from pretty much everything and anything. Have you ever tried physically damaging your eyes to see if they would fully heal?" "N-no. No, it doesn't work," I forced out, my voice a little strangled and cracking before hardening. "And stuff like that, isn't that just wrong?! Hurting someone just to 'fix' them." 2. I leaned and he met me, our soft lips touching and moving perfectly on each other's. I felt as his tongue ran the slit of my lips, my tongue coming to graze it as it passed over, knowing doing so was like catnip to him. He leaned closer, and I shivered as his hands ran from low on my hips and grazed along and up my ribs, pulling my chest closer to his so my body arched and rubbed against him. I hummed in appreciation. [warning: so far aggressive or physical bullying and maybe a little kidnappage and sexual themes as well as possible trigger warnings]Lengkap
Cold and numb, that's the only thing I've felt for the past 3 months. There's around 10 other humans here excluding myself and new ones come everyday. No one knows exactly where we are, all we know is that our worst nightmares are about to come true. ** I was once a carefree and extroverted girl that would just go with the flow and live in the moment. That was until the day they came out of existence and started to up rule the world. Now they control everything, most importantly the human race. Some call them monsters, some call them the demons sending, but they are the purebloods, the first vampires to be created. They're the ones that capture us and sell us off as their slaves. They are soulless creatures that couldn't give a damn about anyone but themselves and their every need. ** This is my story about how I, Miabella Nicole Arksin, became a slave to the most powerful pureblood, Ronan Pierre. *This is the first story I've written so sorry if there's a couple mistakes here and there I'll try my best to fix them and thanks for reading :-)*
Detail lengkapPanduan Muatan