Cheese's Short Stories!!!1!!

Hello, my lovely readers!! Remember the storybook I talked about in my other book? This is the one! I'll put a little emoji thingy in every title so y'all know the genre!!1
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So without further ado, (correct me if I spelled that wrong that's just what Google says) here's the key:
⛧- nooooo angst so sad
♥- ROMANCE (pretend I'm rolling my r's)
★- slice of lice I guess? (I meant to say life but the typo was fucking hilarious so I'm keeping it)
✄- ok this one is fun. In these ones, the characters are sentient and can hear what I, the narrator, have to say about them. This leads to what I think are some pretty funny interactions.
❋- ooo this one is my favorite: CRACK. Random shit that pops into my head/my pathetic attempts at being funny. They most likely won't be beta-read and that's okay (I'm just lazy (the typos make it funnier argue with the wall))
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OH ALSO THIS IS IMPORTANT THE MATURE RATING IS ONLY FOR STRONG LANGUAGE I DO NOT AND WILL NOT WRITE SMUT. (smut is basically a censorship word for intercourse in case you didn't know.) I'll write violence from time to time, but I promise you I ain't writing shit about smexy time thanks. Digital footprints people (the house is made of glass)
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Alright thanks for reading my warning peoples!!