The best ideas come at midnight date started: June 30, 2019 y'all I wrote this in 2019 and its been sitting in my drafts unopened since then. obviously I need to share it with the world so if you read this and think 'god this is awful why does it seem like a 12 year old wrote it???' That's because a 12 year old did write it. I will not actually be rereading this monstrosity because I would prefer not to die of embarrassment but if you notice that the chapters are like weird or there's something deeply offensive please tell me. Also I promise I've grown in the 5 years since I wrote this. I know it says constructive criticism is welcome in every chapter and while that is true PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THIS WORK SERIOUSLY. Only read for laughs. Have fun reading :)