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just blah blah blah

honestly i always want to be forgotten hard by someone i dumped because they shouldn't be with me. seeing their efforts to desperately want to forget everything about me and everything we ever talked about makes me feel really sad sometimes, even though i left and left it for their sake. i don't want them to fall too far into the hands of evil women. i think that's a reasonable way. throwing them away and letting them go with their new choices (which are certainly better than me). but another side of me says 'how is that possible?' is it that impossible for me to be fought for a little harder? sometimes i think how can other women get the man of their dreams? oh come on, i'm beautiful, smart, kind, all the good things people want are in me, so why can't i get them too? has anyone ever wanted me that hard? has anyone ever looked at me with pride and wanting to own me? honestly in between tiring days i need someone to be a place to come home to and tell all my hard days, and listen to my hard days too. is it that hard? oh how unfortunate I am with a sad love story, how can people out there say they want to be like me without knowing what they have taken from me? I'm so sick of the praise and admiration from humans who are never human, sometimes I want to be seen as a little weak dude!