Ruhsuz (+18)
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- Parts 17
Qarşımda bağdaş qurub oturmuş adamın qucağına çıxdım. Ayaqlarımı iki yandan keçirib belinə sardım arxadan. Başımı çənəsinin altına dayayıb əllərimi saçlarına keçirdim. Tanrıya diz çöküb əllərini dua etmək üçün qaldırıb başını aşağı əymiş insan təsviri yaratmışdım tapdığım adamın qucağında.
"Məni sadəcə sən cəzalandır istəyirəm. Acıt istəyirəm canımı, ruhumu. Anla, sənə qırılmamışam, küsməmişəm. Haqqım yoxdur mənim bunlara, tapdığım adam. Anla artıq." Başımı qaldırıb gözlərinə dikdim gözlərimi, hər şeyim olan tünd mavilərə.
"İlk başda anlamalı olduğun şey bunlardır. Gözlərimdə sevgi görmədiyini deyirsən, çünki sənə hiss etdiklərim sevgi kimi adi, sıradan deyil. Sən mənim tanrımsan, sahib olduğum hər şeysən."
Gözlərimdən yaşlar axdı yanaqlarıma.
"Yol göstər mənə, qurtar məni məndən."
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