Story cover for locked out  by mayviss30
locked out
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Ongoing, First published Jun 28, 2024
ive been locked out of a house I built Im watching it fall and I want to save it but if it gets close to me it explodes im selfish for wanting the best, I watch the blood pour to the bottom of the mote around our castle of dreams, memories of the towns cheers and the good years when it all was okay. now a tornado has ripped apart our dream land its so empty and abandoned im sitting in the rubble counting sheep and rubbing lanterns, living off scraps of what we had im next in the falling of us, the damage is done none of this was fun I could go for a recall of all the moments when we had it all and you had too drop what was oh so delicate, there was no end, just reminence and unsolved case of what went wrong. do you lay in your bed thinking of what I would have just said, who do you talk too about the news and laugh at offensive jokes, no one can replace the memories we made you cant just give it up, you cant crush what was golden with an insult or two, you cant break me or you cant break me in front of you, cus you cant break whats already broken even if it was because of you, whats wrong with my self confidence, do I deserve this, is this love at all, am I worth it, why do I let you make the call
im so lost and locked out of my own house, that castle we built 
even if it was just in the sand 
the ocean must have washed it away, atleast it waves, it has more guts then you leaving groupchats so we get tattoos, hope you hate all my decisions, its my life, im the one living it
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SENSITIVE STRINGS

21 parts Complete

August is slipping through our hands like a half-sipped bottle of wine and this year for me has been the most Unhinged, deranged, yet somehow on some level chic and comforting. I found and discovered things I never thought I would and I lost some things of great meaning which also I never thought I would. This year sure has been a rollercoaster of a ride, and the most terrifying thing about this is that the year hasn't even finished yet. I've felt a lot of emotions like madness, happiness, sadness and confusion and homesick-hysterion and a flash mobs of questions posted in my mind like post it notes just screaming. And so I got tired of them. And I wrote an anthology of the events that happened to me this year and have happened to me in the past. This is a concept record. Each track is a letter to someone, or some situation where I wanted to say I lot of things... But I couldn't so I decided to let my mind and heart intertwine, and speak those words that I couldn't. I hold Sensitive Strings close to my heart because it's my first anthology. Although it might not seem like it right now, but in future after release of several other anthologies, I want to look back at this record and just laugh, because it's a depressingly funny record of an 18 year old queer boy, and it's probably things that most people relate to because unlike *coughs* some people, I don't gatekeep my trauma as unique, because it's trauma not a competition. I hope that you all will love this record as much as I do. And I hope that Sensitive Strings will keave you all to want more. And I promise with me more is always coming. I just want to say to all those people who supported me in this, Especially all of my friends, you know who you are. I love you and this wouldn't have been possible without you. With all your love to me, And your greatest empathy, I take this step further without looking back now, SENSITIVE STRINGS IS OUT NOW. Love you & Thank you. Riv.