locked out

ive been locked out of a house I built Im watching it fall and I want to save it but if it gets close to me it explodes im selfish for wanting the best, I watch the blood pour to the bottom of the mote around our castle of dreams, memories of the towns cheers and the good years when it all was okay. now a tornado has ripped apart our dream land its so empty and abandoned im sitting in the rubble counting sheep and rubbing lanterns, living off scraps of what we had im next in the falling of us, the damage is done none of this was fun I could go for a recall of all the moments when we had it all and you had too drop what was oh so delicate, there was no end, just reminence and unsolved case of what went wrong. do you lay in your bed thinking of what I would have just said, who do you talk too about the news and laugh at offensive jokes, no one can replace the memories we made you cant just give it up, you cant crush what was golden with an insult or two, you cant break me or you cant break me in front of you, cus you cant break whats already broken even if it was because of you, whats wrong with my self confidence, do I deserve this, is this love at all, am I worth it, why do I let you make the call
im so lost and locked out of my own house, that castle we built
even if it was just in the sand
the ocean must have washed it away, atleast it waves, it has more guts then you leaving groupchats so we get tattoos, hope you hate all my decisions, its my life, im the one living it