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How to become me teehee 🤭

How to become me teehee 🤭

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WpMetadataReadOngoing<5 mins
WpMetadataNoticeLast published Tue, Jul 2, 2024
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Fiction
Social Themes
I've always been the type to show my love for my friends and I was always a hugger and very touchy, and I still am kinda. But then I realized that not a single one of my current or past friends are a fan of being touched, wether they didn't liked being touched at all or just thought it was weird and/or immature. Eventually I learned that and adapted to it, but not in a good way. A few months ago, I was saying hi to my close friend, one I mess around with alot, and I mess around with all my friends and I'm very open to them. They all know that I would do anything for them. But when I walked up to them, I lifted my hand up to give them an exaggerated wave, and when they saw me lift up my hand, they slightly flinched, and I felt my heart sink. I asked them why they flinched, and they said that they thought I was gonna hit them, and I felt myself start to tear up bc I felt to horrible. I had gotten to the point where instead of showing true love to my friends I started getting 'jokingly' violent to them. I started paying attention to what I was doing more often and one night I cried because I felt like such an awful person. I went from being the hugger to being the one who beats my friends as a joke and it's awful. There was one night where me and two of my friends had our first sleepover a few weeks ago and we all played class of 09, taking turns of who makes the decisions and stuff, and they said if I were a character in it, I would most definitely be nicole. Throughout the gameplay I saw her behavior and I liked her snarky attitude but then I noticed how much I'm like her. It sucks.
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"Don't you see now why we can't be together?" I whispered at the crazy boy in front of me. "Aren't you repulsed by me? Disgusted? Dis interested? Can't you just tear my heart out and leave like any other normal teenage boy?" My voice cracked. He simply shook his head. "Sweetheart, I thought I made it clear from the first time I said it," He paused, "I. Like. You." He emphasized every word, and I gaped at him. "Hell of a lot, actually, so it'd be great if you stopped being salty and liked me back." "Don't you get it?" I whispered unbelievingly, "After all that, and you still don't get why I can't be with you?" He seemed relaxed, calm. Too calm for this situation. "My life doesn't involve a guy like you, Nathan. Never did. You're not my knight in shinning armor, and you aren't going to save me. This is reality, the real world. And the real world doesn't have happy endings." ---- To me, there's are six different types of crying. One; The Breakdown. Two; The Longing. Three; The Hysterical. Four; The Broken. Five; The Happy. Six; The Inevitable." ---- This short story is very depressing, I'm warning you now. It may trigger memories, or depression symptoms.

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