him? or just the thought of him

I tell myself I physically couldn't fall in love with someone else. That the thought of another man in my life genuinely brings disgust to me. That I couldn't sit down and tell myself I love someone or a certain gender that brung pain into my life. Or, so I thought. I always thought I was a lesbian, a gay, a member of the lgbtq+, you could even say a "taste the rainbow kind" but, that's completely besides the point. ever since high-school I've met a boy that rather fascinated me. it terrifies me that I'm even interested in this boy.

I don't want to end up like a sad, soppy, weird ooshy gooshy, love story. I Want it to be where we actually fall deeply in love OVER ans OVER and we remind each other why and how we fall in love. Will this become like any other high-school love story and become something like the "three month rule" everyone talks about? or is this the kind of love that someone walks by and says "that's us in 30 years" and grow old together.