After I died

I remember sinking. Slowly. The sunlight shining beautifully through the water. It wasn't warm and it wasn't cold. Just perfect. Everything was moving slowly. Everything was quiet and peaceful. I just wanted to be a part of it. So I breathed in. Let it fill my lungs. My entire body. And then I was weightless. I was a part of the water. A part of the sea.

A year later and I'm back. But everything get's so complicated! I like him so much, but my little secret is going to ruin everything! How can I fix this whitout him nowing?