Fading

Fading...

I don't know why this is happening. However I do know it's ruining my life. Ruining me. Ever since that day, my world has been turned upside down and I feel lonely, lost, frustrated and above all I feel as though I'm fading; like my identity, who I am inside and my memories. With every day that goes by, I lose more and more of myself and it's not just hurting me, it's hurting the very people I love around me too. They are suffering for what happened to me. The sessions don't seem to be working and I hate them because it's meant to be working, the doctors said it should. But it's not. They don't know why.

I've lost hope of ever improving. My mum on the other hasn't and she always tells me to stay strong, stay positive because life has a funny way of turning out. Honestly, I'm weak and tired of fighting this. My memory loss caused by the accident and knowing I can't change the past, I can't reverse what happened. I cause emotional pain to the people I love and then something awful happens to me. Karma. But it can't be as the accident only caused more pain for my family, it's more like a domino effect of continuous pain and suffering. Maybe life doesn't like me - or something a little more harsh like hate. Or life is just giving me the opportunity to experience a miracle first hand. To get me to believe again. To believe there is hope. If this is true, I can't wait.

There's just one question I want to ask you.

Will you come along and share the journey with me?