the need of killing myself

death is cruel.
death is painfull.
death is something that no one that's not insane wants.
death is indefinite and unfathomable
and death can only happen to a person once.
literally, because you can't die again when you are dead in the first place.

what if all of that is reversed??
what if a person is experiencing the other side of DEATH ITSELF?

in her existence,
death is benign
death for her is indolent.
death is all she wants.
yet, her death is reiterate.
she knew her death.

she's one of a kind
for her life and death are simultaneous.