My life in hell

Hey guys I want to tell you something. When I was younger I was abused. But that didn't stop me from having a life… When I grew up I started realizing that I was being childish. And I was tired of people calling me names pushing me around and doing whatever they think is funny to me that's not really funny. I use to self harmed when I was little and I was probably about 10 years old till 12 years old I'm 13 now I still have thoughts about self harming again. But something inside me just makes me stop. I started cutting because I thought it was cool and people were doing around me. And people said that it was a way to channel your anger and help you be relieved of stress and hurt. But that is not true. So I just I needed to realize how good my life was. I never really thought that I would grow up to be this person. I thought I'd go out to be some kind of weirdo and still cutting. I mean I'm never I never like trying to do it on purpose but sometimes you can't hold yourself back.