To Be Honest: Genuine Conversations With God
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- Votes 10
- Parts 27
Ongoing1h 3m
Last published Sun, May 25, 2025
I love God
But I worry
And I have dreams
And I'm still figuring out how to love God beyond just feelings too.
The Bible tells us that we're God's Field & Co-workers. I want to get to that point.
God made Life to be a beautifully vibrant experience, and I want to get to be a part of that reality.
But I have things I struggle with; unanswered questions, bad habits, self destructive tendencies.
I also have desires and things that make me happy, personal delights.
I'm sharing everything with God, all the questions I have. He does tell us to bring all the questions and worries we have to Him. I'm also sharing the answers He gives me with Biblical references.
I'm learning how to be friends with God. ^^
It's a step by step lifelong journey.
And I'm glad to have you here with me. 💗
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#50
believing
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𝐔𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞 [𝟏𝟖+]
"𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫." [Slow update] They say love feels like sunlight after winter. But no one warns you - sometimes, it burns. Sometimes, it scars. I never asked for obsession, for manipulation, or for love that feels like poison. He came like wildfire - raw, relentless, unapologetic. My first. My beautiful mistake. He was dangerous in the most beautiful way. Gentle with me, brutal with the world. Every moment with him was comfort laced with chaos. His love? Honey laced with venom - sweet, addicting, and lethal. He didn't cross lines. He erased them. In his madness, I mistook devotion. In cruelty, I saw protection. How do you run from someone who'd bleed to keep you breathing? He saw the cracks no one else noticed. Whispered promises in the dark. And a part of me clung to them. In his arms, the world ceased to exist. But the next storm didn't come with fire. It came in silence. He arrived like a shadow - watching, waiting, suffocating. He didn't touch me - not yet. But I felt him, like smoke in my lungs. He studied me. Then he moved. And when he did, everything changed. He didn't want to love me. He wanted to rewrite me. His silence screamed louder than words. He wanted me to destroy myself for him. Now, I'm torn between two kinds of insanity: One who would ruin the world to protect me. Another who would ruin me to make me his world. And I can't tell the difference anymore. They circle me like wolves, each calling it love. But love was never meant to feel like this. Was it? I used to believe love was a gift. Now I know - it's a gamble. A bloody one. And in this game of obsession and betrayal, I'm no longer sure who the real villain is. Because when both players would kill you for love... What does that make you?
I used to think I was living the life people only dream about. Everything looked perfect on the outside - the smiles, the success, the routine that gave me comfort. I had the freedom, the admiration, and the illusion of happiness. I truly believed that this was it - the life I had worked so hard to build, the one everyone else wished they had. But then he came into my world - unexpected and uninvited, like a storm that doesn't ask permission before it breaks everything in its path. He was unlike anyone I had ever met. A man cloaked in mystery, always quiet, always observing, like he carried the weight of a thousand secrets. People knew his name, admired him from a distance, but no one really knew him. And he liked it that way. He wasn't kind in the way the world expects. He wasn't soft or gentle. He didn't chase approval, and he didn't waste time pretending. His world was cold and guarded - his heart only opening for the few he truly cared about: his family, and the rare souls he dared to love. And yet, somehow, I was drawn to him. Not just to his mystery, but to the way he made me feel - like I was no longer the polished, perfect version of myself I had grown so used to pretending to be. Around him, the mask I wore for years slowly cracked. I started seeing pieces of myself I didn't know existed. He turned my world upside down. He didn't just make me feel - he made me question everything. Who I was. What I wanted. Who I was pretending to be. I became someone I no longer recognized - not the girl with the perfect life, but someone raw, confused, aching for something real. He didn't just enter my life. He changed it. He changed me.
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