You're Dead, I'm Rich: A Shamelessly Exploitative Guide to Tabloid Journalism - Paige Turner - Wattpad

Story cover for You're Dead, I'm Rich: A Shamelessly Exploitative Guide to Tabloid Journalism by PaigeTurner360

You're Dead, I'm Rich: A Shamelessly Exploitative Guide to Tabloid Journalism

Reads 8
Votes 5
Parts 5
Time 23m

Reads 8
Votes 5
Parts 5
Time 23m

In "You're Dead, I'm Rich," notorious tabloid terror Gail Hailstorm spills her secrets on how to turn tragedy into cold, hard cash. This no-holds-barred guide to gutter journalism will teach you how to:

Outrun cops in six-inch heels
Hide in morgues (and look fabulous doing it)
Turn crime scene tape into this season's hottest accessory
Milk grieving families for all they're worth (tears = dollar signs, baby!)
Seduce coroners, bribe cops, and blackmail witnesses
Look picture-perfect while digging through dumpsters
Turn libel lawsuits into publicity gold

Packed with "inspirational" anecdotes (RIP to all those expendable interns), fashion tips for the morally bankrupt, and enough name-dropping to give you whiplash, this book is your ticket to the sleazy big leagues.

WARNING: Side effects may include loss of soul, multiple restraining orders, and an inexplicable craving for formaldehyde cocktails.

DISCLAIMER: Author not responsible for jail time, karmic retribution, or spontaneous bouts of conscience (though let's be real, if you're reading this, you probably don't have one).

Remember, in the world of tabloid journalism, facts are optional, but a killer headline is forever. So grab your fake press pass, leave your ethics at the door, and get ready to make headlines... or at least end up in them!

Gail Hailstorm is an award-winning* journalist, bestselling author**, and the reason most celebrities have unlisted numbers.
*Awards may or may not be recognized by any reputable organization
**Best-selling may refer to black market sales onlyAll Rights Reserved

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me & my total lack of identity

A young actress navigates the politics of Hollywood in pursuit of a coveted role, all the while dealing with a double life, family, addiction and romance. ...later that night as i rubbed cocoa butter into my skin, i made a list of things i would do to get the part. ANYTHING. you see, i need this part in this movie, it's the one that will make me a BIG STAR. ok, i kind of already am a celebrity but that's all another story. thing is my life's a little crazy right now & there's so much stuff standing in the way. there's FAMILY- of course & then the boyfriend, i'm not sure about that, we'll see. also, i also have this little PILL HABIT, it's just little, really (kind of a secret), then top it all off with some MIND CONTROL but i don't know about that or do i? it's so confusing, all rabbit holes & no rainbows, but the sacrifices- it's worth it, right? Because i want to be a star, i really do. i think. ** This story contains child abuse, sexual assault, drug use, murder and thoughts of suicide. A dark story intended for mature audiences. The story is meant to be read as is, small case was done as a stylistic mode. I notice especially the letter i as in myself reverted to a capital so i will be fixing that. I will be doing another check to find any typos which after a million edits, still appear. Although people have noticed similarities in some of the characters to real people I like to be clear that I first published this story in May of 2016, a couple years before the Weinstein scandal and the #metoo movement.