I want to be a star

The reality of living life with autism. Finally separating the diagnosis from Sheldon Cooper to the isolating and depressing inevitably many people with autism face. I spent my entire life wondering what was wrong with me. I thought I was severely depressed, dissociated, maybe it was a personality disorder. By 14 I was addicted to self harm and actively suicidal. All to find out I am autistic. I was diagnosed at 7 and no one told me. What if I think of myself differently? What if I think I'm stupid? I suffered emotional deregulation my entire life because it was easier for people to ignore my autism than help. I am writing my story to help others realize what autism actually feels like more than the versions in media.