I want to be a star
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The reality of living life with autism. Finally separating the diagnosis from Sheldon Cooper to the isolating and depressing inevitably many people with autism face. I spent my entire life wondering what was wrong with me. I thought I was severely depressed, dissociated, maybe it was a personality disorder. By 14 I was addicted to self harm and actively suicidal. All to find out I am autistic. I was diagnosed at 7 and no one told me. What if I think of myself differently? What if I think I'm stupid? I suffered emotional deregulation my entire life because it was easier for people to ignore my autism than help. I am writing my story to help others realize what autism actually feels like more than the versions in media.
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You know how you trauma-dump on your friends and they say, "Omg, that's insane, you should write a book about it!" Well, more people have made that remark to my mother as she exaggerates all her stories, so I took the liberty of taking that advice for myself. I am a writer, after all, and I tend to write out my feelings and trauma to work through it on my own, just to delete it later. But why not make some of those memories that haunt me so much into story form? It's definitely more entertaining. So, you'll find my entire life story, or at least what I remember, here in this book on Wattpad. Each chapter is a real event that occurred in my life, mostly involving my emotionally abusive mother, nearly absent and aggressive father, my runaway older sister, and even a little boy we fostered for a moment. If you're interested or possibly are going through something similar, please read and know that there is hope. I made it out and I am on my healing journey, it is possible.
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