Am I Pretty?

Eloise was ugly, it was not an overexaggeration, it was not a fish for compliements it was a simple fact. She'd spent hours staring at her reflection, she knew her flaws from the top of her head to the soles of her big feet, she can even name them in order, she had them written somewhere just can't seem to find it. Tears streamed down her chestnut coloured face, it's the 3rd time she's cried about her apperance and weight.

Eloise was also fat, but not the good kind of fat with curves and a flat stomach, no, Eloise had a stomach that stuck out farther than her hips, a double chin, aunty arms, fat cankles and thick thighs covered in cellulite, she was utterly replused by her apperance. Everyday to her was a constant reminder of her failure to lose weight, she had a problem, 2 years she's spent in a constant cycle of losing and gain, she broke out of that recently but in the wrong direction, she is now 8kg(17.6lbs) heavier than she was 2 years ago. Now that wouldn't be a problem if she was skinny or average at the very least, she was obese 2 years ago and is more obese now.

She was ugly, fat, and lacked confidence, she was dumb, childish and didn't deserve to live, but she couldn't die because she was scared. Scared that nobody would care , guilt that people might care, embarrassed at possibly failing, and most of all scared of dying encased in her fat body. Eloise feared burdening some poor person with lifting her fat deacesed body, becoming a ghost and forever trapped in the fatness. If she was going to die she was going to die pretty.

C/W :SA, SH, EDs