Chaos Ensues [South Park]

It is Mysterion's duty to protect this helpless little mountain town. Therefore, it is also his duty to stop its newest villain, Chaos, because the police won't do shit. Mysterion would die a million times for his dear mountain town and the people in it. Wait... didn't he do that already?

Stan goes through the hardships of heartbreak once again. This time, he doesn't feel like his heart has been torn apart; he feels likes it's been removed. Living on a weed farm doesn't make it any better.

Cartman just wants to get filthy rich. Huh. I guess Jews also love money, right? Cartman would be thrilled to find an unlikely partner in crime in Kyle Broflovski. Sadly for him, Kyle still enjoys righteous speechs and morality. Lame. Weak. Not kewl.

Did Craig Tucker always have amber eyes? If you ask Tweek, the answer would be yes. If you ask Craig, the answer would be no. The true answer lies in an ancient tale about a hero, a threat to humankind and guinea pigs.

OR

College AU. Main plot has superhero/supervillain shenanigans. Chaos truly ensues.

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Characters included (for now):
- Stan
- Kyle
- Cartman
- Kenny
- Wendy(l)
- Butters
- Craig
- Tweek

Ships:
- Stan x Wendy(l)
- Kyle x Cartman
- Butters x Kenny
- Craig x Tweek

This fanfiction will be as canon-compliant as possible in its humour and storylines.

TW: Cartman exists, and that's triggering. Vulgar language, racist comments, sexual themes, possibly violent scenes and sex scenes. What'd you expect? It's South Park, man.

All main characters are 18 or older.