Shedding light on what it really can look like (from first-hand experience) might just give someone the courage they need to get out.
Yes, this is personal. It's a story about domestic abuse and gender based violence, which makes it very personal. It is not my story, not anymore. It was, but it does not define me and my life any longer.
This story might be difficult to read for some. It may not be the hopeful and full of light, sugarcoated romance novel you'd want.
This is a story about truth, my truth, and nothing more.
The story is based on my story. Now, do keep in mind: it's still a story, with fiction and dramatic emphasis, but the red flags, the warnings are clear, unedited and willfully added because if you look too closely or not close enough, you might, like I did, miss them.
Some women leave early, and some get out after years, better late than never, right? Some never leave, and some never get the chance to leave.
This is for them, the ones that didn't get the opportunity to leave, the ones who were robbed of time. Their lives, stolen, their time, cut short - by someone who was supposed to love them.
Please, beautiful woman, please leave and heal. This is me, begging. You deserve more.
"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel."
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Who I am doesn't matter.
How I got here doesn't matter.
What matters now is I'm getting help, right?
That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters.
So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me.
My father wasn't abusive.
I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either.
I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboard