I'm not a cat

Can't pay your bills?

Creditors at your heels?

Tired of working a 9 to 5, thankless job while that tacky bitch Bethany fucks the boss so she wont have to refill the soda machine?

Give up that lackluster apartment your pretty sure your landlord put cameras in to watch you pee .

take a walk on the cataclysmic world event train, shit gets real super fast.

You dont have bills, hell you dont even have a house thanks to what you can only assume is a fucking garden gnome on steroids with a taste for raw meat.

I mean despite giving up entirely on the idea of Netflix and chill it was ok at least i felt i had some bizarre shape of control over what was left of my reality.

I didnt have to work an hour to afford dinner i could catch it.

Didnt need a bed because a warm shaft of light would do it.

Oh, did i mention this world changing event involved a alien ship 'seeding' and terraforming our dying planet resulting in some as the aliens put it 'oopsies'

I'm a fucking feline.

Oh plenty of people died, but some of us got the joy of having our chromosomes horrifically altered.

Let me tell you, ever wonder what it feels like to have all your organs rip out and replace themselves then your bones turn to fucking powder and reform?

Yeah, not so great.

lets call this pg19 i am not planning on making this a romance but expect violence and "strong language"