You should be kind with yourself, because you can lose yourself too, just stop waiting to be told what kind of person you are. I lost myself and I am not even ready to look after me... because I don't know me anymore. I wanted a life and I ended a broken puppet in between what I call right and wrong, my each step can take me down, even if actually a good choice. I play the game of my life dirty, because I want to have memories, but ask if it worth it... THE ANSWER IS YEAH! For me is worth it because it ease the pain of the loneliness, even if I actually make it bad.