My Delusional boyfriend

He's on my mind! I think about him every single day. Most of my friends have even said "why him?" and some would say "you look way more attractive than him, no need to waste your time on someone like that".

To me, I personally find him attractive. It's really not about the looks, it's how he treats others, it's his personality. People who are like that are very rare in this world, I just hope he chooses me, even though he may not be gay.

I forgot to mention, my name is Rowan. I'm currently a 3rd year medical student and this is my journal. There's this guy in my class who I can't stop thinking about, his name is Matteo. Despite all the efforts I try to remove him from my head, it won't work. Universe has even sent me many signs regarding this person, like showing his name pop up in several unexpected chats online or outdoors where it magically gets talked in conversations, making me think of him instantly. I can even mention his star sign name, which is Leo, showing up in many places. People would bring him up unexpectedly even in situations and conversations not related to him, and I always ask myself "WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!? WHY AM I THINKING of this person a lot?"

I am trying everything in my power to forget him, but I keep having these intrusive thoughts of him and I keep dreaming of him in most of my sleep.

I started this journal to express my feelings since it's so hard for me to hold it in. If I make money out of this, then so be it. My journal is going to be very long. Prepare for a lot of reading and wild stuff in this journal.

The thoughts and stories I have of us in my head, will make you blush for life.