If I Knew Then (Phan)
  • Reads 617,217
  • Votes 23,764
  • Parts 32
  • Time 1h 6m
  • Reads 617,217
  • Votes 23,764
  • Parts 32
  • Time 1h 6m
Complete, First published Jan 14, 2013
**Trigger Warning: Self Harm, Abuse, Alcoholism**             Dan Howell and Phil Lester never got along. Mostly because Dan took out his horrid home life on the people at school and Phil happened to be an easy target. But when things take a turn for the worse in both of their lives, they're forced to get to know each other better and discover things about themselves they never guessed.
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41 parts Complete Mature

Phil Lester is a well known youtuber. He hides behind the camera, he acts the way that he wants to but he scared to be himself at school. He's popular and he's not happy like that. Dan is sweet and rarely talks. He is always afraid that somebody will hurt him so he tries to stay away from people and emotions. Dan struggles with depression, selfharm, bullies, anorexia, a dark past, and being fostered by an abusive family. His mom and dad died when he was 13 and he blames himself everyday. His 7 year old sister is the only thing keeping him alive and sane. Phil feels bad for Dan, but he can't show it unless he wants to get hurt to. Little does Phil know, Dan is quickly losing control of his life. Read this book to go on this adventure with Dan and Phil. (Will mostly be written in Dan's POV) WARNINGS: This story will have very triggering content that deals with self harm, depression, self hatred, anorexia, abuse, harsh language, bullying, mentions of rape, bulimia, and anxiety. Please be careful reading my book and I am always here to talk if you need it. Also, Dan is shorter in this book, about 5'9" cause I have a thing with height.