Only I Did - Only Me
  • Reads 18
  • Votes 0
  • Parts 25
  • Time 2h 19m
  • Reads 18
  • Votes 0
  • Parts 25
  • Time 2h 19m
Ongoing, First published Oct 22, 2024
I never had any friends. Yes, there were people I called friends, but deep down, I knew they didn't truly care about me, and I didn't care much for them either. So, I did what I thought was right-I pushed them all away. I convinced myself that being alone was better, and for a long time, I didn't hate it. But as much as I loved being alone, I didn't want to lonely. I longed for something more. I also wanted someone and something special-a real bond with someone I could call my Best Friend. I wanted to care, to be cared for in return.

Then, against all odds, something I believed to be impossible happened. I found that person. At first, it felt like the answer to every silent prayer. For the first time, I cared for someone. I believed that I had found what I was looking for. But as time passed, I was forced to realize the cruel truth I had been too blind to see. Something I had tried my best to ignore. It was my biggest mistake. I was the only one who cared. I gave it my all only for it to be thrown away. In the end, I was left standing in the same lonely place. But this time, it hurt.

Will I be able to hold on or will I leave everything behind?
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so, I've been struggling for a long time now, and I never told anyone about it. I've never opened up. but I met someone who understands how I feel, and I'm beginning to feel again. I don't know how to do it, but I finally feel I can fight. I've been so exhausted. I'm not better, I'm not sure if i ever will be, but I'm not numb, not entirely. I can't say how I'm feeling, or what i am going to write, but if you want it, it's here. This is for you. For everyone who was made to be the villain by those meant to be by their sides. For everyone with a sensitive heart made to grow strong much too quickly. For everyone who struggles to get out of bed in the morning. For everyone who never could find the words to say why. For everyone who struggles to feel and for everyone who feels too much. For everyone who had to pick themselves back up. For everyone who had to parent themselves. For everyone fighting an invisible battle. For everyone who has been underestimated. For everyone who has to flee to other worlds to cope. For everyone who found other means to silence their voices. For everyone who was silenced. For everyone who was over powered. For everyone who was made to be less. For everyone who had to watch someone else suffer and stay silent. For everyone asking themselves, why? Why would you do this? What did I do? Why is this happening to me? It was never your fault.