Where The World Lies
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- Parts 1
Ongoing<5 mins
Last published Sat, May 16, 2015
It isn't a habit. You can't just decide one day that you want to stop, because it doesn't work like that. Nobody actually knows how it works, we are all just assuming, and my assumption is damn well beyond a theory. Don't expect me to suddenly just drop my blade because you want me too. If I could, I would, without hesitation. Cutting isn't a habit you can just break, its a lifestyle. A lifestyle I wish everyday, every single damn day that it'll just end.
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Hunter is a bad habit I can't quit. He's smoke in my lungs, a slow-burning addiction, the kind that lingers long after he's gone. And no matter how many times I tell myself to stop-to forget, to move on-I always end up chasing the high of him all over again. It's pathetic, really. How just seeing him at school can flip my entire mood. How even when he's being cruel, I catch myself wishing he'd say my name instead. How I hate him-God, I hate him-and then, without fail... I fall again. They all think I'm delusional. That I romanticize the worst parts of him. That I've turned some reckless, indifferent boy into something worth loving. But they don't see what I do. They don't notice the cracks in the armor, the glimpses of something real underneath. Maybe I am delusional. Maybe I'm drowning in a fantasy of my own making. But if loving him is a slow, self-inflicted destruction- Then light the match. I'll burn for him anyway.
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