A Shift in the Universe

The earth is somehow off kilter. Past, present and future blend and overlap. Strange people come into and out of my life. An old love shows up with a girlfriend, another with his wife. The look of fear and hate in those women's eyes when they gaze into mine. A man looks at me from across the room, our eyes lock and simultaneously lips tilt up in a smile of recognition, though we've never met, and I am sure he's in a future I can't yet fathom.

Another man fixates on me and the stalking begins. I've been here before. It feels like deja vu. I've dreamed of so many men; ones I've loved, ones who have loved and lusted after me, ones who have hated me (they all do sooner or later), ones who have been obsessed, who have stalked me, made threats...abused. I wake up in the mornings sweating...

I feel it...his eyes on me! I know he's there. I feel him watching and waiting. There's a shift in the universe and once again I'm faced with my past...a past I must make amends for, but can't. The people I've hurt are coming like mice from the sewers to pick pieces of my flesh from my living body, while the stalker waits patiently, patiently... If I run, I might rush headlong into his arms. If I stay where I am, I will surely be eaten alive. What do I do? Who do I turn to? What would you do?

Do I trust the future? Peck, peck, peck...do I feel it? Do I feel the past devouring me slowly, slowly...? My mind flashes with visions of the stranger's eyes and his smile. Do I dare jump with my arms outstretched and hope against hope that he's real and doesn't let me fall or do I allow the present to suck me into its vacuum where the past will destroy me and the stalker waits?

There is no atonement. Nothing I do can right all the wrongs, all the pain I've caused. Dare I trust the unknown and believe in the stranger? Again, what would you do?