In love with my kidnapper

My name is Zavanah. I was 15 when he kidnapped me. No one has found me, its been 3 years and I've lost hope. But its not like anyones looking for me, I'm just an orphan, my parents gave me up. When he kidnapped me, I got this strange feeling.... he made me feel, wanted and not afraid (sometimes- well most of the time). I was basically a slave, to the boy, that was rather attractive. The moment I woke up to his green eyes staring down at me, I didn't feel as scared. When he gets mad he takes his anger out on me, then immediately apoligizes. He is hard core, but has a soft side. When he's not with me or near me my heart cracks, cos he's probably with some other girl better than me, his slave. Do I have feelings for him? No I cant he's my kidnapper. Am I really falling in love with my kidnapper?